So now she is in bed, we had cuddles and I apologised for shouting and explained why I had, but then she decided that she still wasn't tired and was going to push buttons further and I had to insist that actually, if she didn't lay down and attempt to sleep and stop shouting, then I wouldn't get any time to do jobs tonight so I would have to do them tomorrow evening and she would have to miss her disco instead of me going with her. She hasn't shouted for ten minutes so I think we may have a truce. Rather than bribery, I like to think of it as natural consequences, if she prevented me from using the time as needed then I wouldn't have time tomorrow to take her where she would like to go. But really if I'm honest I did just think it would be a good way to get her to sleep quickly and would've been gutted if I'd had to follow it through as I missed her last disco due to work.
It's ok, I think, to know when they have pushed your buttons and just need to figure out some way, any way, to get some peace to regain your balance. It's better than snapping anyways. I'm happy to apologise for shouting, hopefully she will learn that it's ok to make mistakes and that even grown-ups need to apologise, to me that is more important than needing to be infallible.
We have had an eventful week. I ended up in hospital last Thursday after a week of chest pains and a collapse outside nursery. My sister's baby is almost due, my brother had an accident at work and my eldest sister has a lot on also. I am often thinking hmmmm maybe one child would have been enough........only kidding, I wouldn't be without any of my three........although I do now have enough.
So currently I am on heart medications 'just in case' whilst I wait for more tests, and am trying to take it easier but also get the house sorted at the same time so we can all relax. My husband cleaned both yards and most of the attic Sunday and Monday........maybe I should go in an ambulance more often ;)
I have bought berocca, mixed nuts and little tubs to carry them around in, and am trying to drink more water and less caffeine. Life re-evaluation time and all that. In the meantime the children have speech therapy, hearing tests and an ear consultant, dietician, optician, asthma gp appointments and paediatric assessments to fit into my oh so empty diary. See the sarcasm there. The wallchart pretty much has a red dot (see diary) on the majority of the next two months.
I am trying to make sure the children get 'me' without losing 'me' to the children. It's not so simple. I'm contemplating the merits of a yoga class.
However, blue dots on the wallchart mean family time, all 5 of us family time. They are scarce in their occurence but there is a patch of them coming up, starting on Saturday. We have a wedding (although Jess is skiving out of some of it for an uber important 6 year old birthday party), a sleepover for the eldest two at Aunty Haleys, a couple of nights in Whitby AFTER payday *whoop*, and then a couple of days to go bowling/museum/cinema type things although the husband is back at work and I may leave my little Toby man at nursery for a day or two so we can actually do the bowling/museum/cinema type things.
On the cinema note, I made 'Neopolitan Popcorn' the other weekend as part of my 'make a treat from pinterest each week' list item. I didn't actually use a recipe from pinterest as they all had convoluted ingredients lists comprising of 'just what I had in my cupboards', that seemed to have been made by people who's kitchen cupboards back through on to about 5 different stores. So I got the idea from pinterest and made my own. Theotetically I should have used some of the 2 bags of popcorn kernels in my cupboard. In practice I used the bag of Cinema Sweet popcorn from Asda that my husband had bought so that we wouldn't need to make a mess in his clean kitchen. Then I found half a large bar of milk chocolate, melted it in the microwave and poured it over a third of the popcorn, stirring rapidly. I then went to the shop and bought 6 packets of Milky Bar buttons. I melted 3 packets, stirred in strawberry flavoured milkshake powder, then poured over a third of the popcorn, stirring rapidly. Then finally I melted the remaining buttons, stirred in banana flavoured milkshake powder, and poured over the remaining third of popcorn, stirring rapidly. Every single recipe said to spread out on a tray covered in tin foil and put in the fridge for 5 minutes. Firstly, we were out of tin foil so I used baking parchment. Secondly, 5 minutes is a load of rubbish. So is 10. In the end I put each tray in the FREEZER for approx 5-10 minutes, and even then the milk chocolate one was a bit 'melty' when I separated it up into the bowl. But it was fine. This was the result...