So, on Wednesday I fell down the stairs...............

So, on Wednesday I fell down the stairs. My right arm has been aching since, due to me having incredibly rubbish wrist strength anyway, and I've been pretty tired and have a slight case of "writer's block". When I got to the bottom I sat and cried, and just thanked God I wasn't carrying Toby this time. Less than 5 weeks now until we move out of this house. Not only are the stairs very steep, they also have rounded edges and just seem to have been put in by somebody who didn't like people very much. It is an ex-council house, what more can I say? Poor Jessica came to see if I was ok and brought me my phone to "ring Beard, he come home?" I did ring him but I told him not to come home, because I felt ok by the time I got through to him and I just wanted things to be quiet. I took Toby up to bed, extremely gingerly, and then Jessica, then I tidied around and wrote a list of jobs for James to do. We had kind of rowed as he'd promised to do lots of tidying that afternoon whilst I was out and had sat watching Dave instead, but not having facebook was good I think. Instead of venting on there, asking friends for advice, getting stressed, I just had a quiet time (after yelling at him of course), and worked through my feelings myself. When he came in he was really sorry, and he did everything on the list before he went to bed, even sleeping on the sofa so he didn't wake me early in the morning when he set off for work. Sometimes, people just don't think, it doesn't mean they do it on purpose, and there's no point staying mad if they're genuinely sorry and make amends.

Thursdays dont work very well for us. Firstly, I have to get all the kids to school for 8.45am as James goes out to work at 5am so he can't take Adam. Which I think is good as it will get Jessica used to going early in a morning before September, even if only once a week it's better than nothing. I get everything ready on Wednesday nights and it's all good, right up until the moment we need to leave. When something catastrophic pretty much always happens. Usually involving Jessica, although it can entangle all of us and frequently does so. This week we were almost on time, but hit a snag at the other side of the river bridge when Jessica suddenly had a meltdown and decided she couldn't possibly go any further because Adam and I had walked through the big gate instead of the small one. I don't think it helped that she had just pushed her way through the wind over the bridge. So I suggested to Adam he could actually run up to school from there, if I watched him over the road - he is capable of crossing that road by himself but I knew he wouldn't quite fancy that. So off he set with 5 minutes to go, and I turned my attentions to convincing Jessica to move forwards. Only to turn back around and realise Adam had moved about a foot and was stood by the fence sobbing. So I turned my attention back to him (Jessica was going nowhere fast), to be told that he couldn't possibly walk to school on his own, it's not safe. Now, how many people get told that by their almost 10 year old sons 5 minutes from school I wonder, aren't most of them begging to walk by themselves by the age of 8?? I reassured him we could walk together however (with an exasperated look backwards at Jessica), he would most certainly be 5 or 10 minutes late. He was fine with that, the child who hates being late for school would rather that than walk alone it seems. At least now I know. With less pressure, and a distraction of being able to take Adam into the office, we were soon underway and arrived exactly 10 minutes late. So next Thursday I shall set off 10 minutes earlier, we MUST be out of the door by 8.15am on the dot, so getting our coats on by 8.05am at the latest. We'll see how it goes...............................
Thursday afternoons don't work either. Jessica has PE, it's near the end of the week, and it's just me, her and Toby on the way home. So by the time we got to the corner of the road Jessica was already well on the way to meltdown-ville. Bearing in mind this is the first week back to school without a buggy board. It has been replaced by a scooter which works as a distraction but only half the time. Although it does cover ground fast when it is working, so I think it has a good success rate. Not this time however. I dared to suggest getting to the shop (about 10 steps away) and then deciding what to do, which prompted more tears and demands of staying where we were - dead on the corner where everybody was trying to walk. So, we had a big swap around. The raincover came off, the mei tai (that luckily I had left in the basket) was put on, Toby's coat came off and his jumper was put on, he was put in the mei tai and my baby wearing fleece was put on. Then the footmuff came off (this apparently is only for babies, according to the nearly 4 year old who wanted to get in the 3 month old's pushchair), which involved unpopping and pushing through of straps, the seat unit was turned around and sat up, and finally the 4 year old got in the pushchair. To get out 10 steps later so she could choose her snack from the shop. Luckily she wanted to get back in afterwards otherwise I'm not quite sure I would have remained so (outwardly) calm. So, off we set home, the day after I fell down the stairs and hurt my arm, pushing a nearly 4 year old in a pram, carrying a 16lb 3 month old on my front, with a bag full of raincover, footmuff and sweater swinging off one wrist and pram handle whilst a scooter handle was precariously clutched in the other hand along with  the other pram handle. To add to this juggling act, the sweets Jessica had chosen had writing on which obviously needed to be read by me every 2 minutes along the way.

I don't really know how we can solve Thursday afternoons. In a way, that is the solution. At least we had no falling asleep on buggy boards or needing to be carried up hills (and then falling asleep on my shoulder) whilst pushing a heavy pram. I'm sure it was easier to push her in the pram and carry Toby than it was to push the big pram up the hill with her on the buggy board. And we didn't have any major meltdowns once I realised that I had the solution right there with me in the pram basket.

Sometimes, I guess, as parents, we have to realise there isn't an "easy" solution. That these little people are indeed little, and just can't always do what would be easiest for us. When they have had to walk to school and back 3 days already, and had to get up and out early that same morning, and then had PE, they quite simply can not manage that final walk home, even when a bright pink fast scooter is there for the taking. And that when they are asking us to dig into our reserves of energy and be a packhorse, it isn't because they are being mean or unreasonable, it's because their reserves are all used up. How can I, as an adult, refuse to tire myself out, when that is what I am asking my 4 year old to do?

Tonight I let them watch DVDs in bed, because I am tired and film nights always end up with arguments over films and a hyper Jessica who won't go upstairs at the end of the film and I have all 3 of them all weekend on my own for the majority of the time. So I know it's supposed to be bad for them to fall asleep watching DVDs, but it's bad for me to yell at them because I'm exhausted and I think this is the lesser of two evils. I can always blame their Aunty, she bought them the DVD players.

I wanted a chilled out relaxing "what will be will be" kind of song, but my brain isn't working well enough to find one right now. It is whirling around with pirate parties and house moves and information on HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) children which I have been reading with much interest in connection with Adam - I'm pretty sure you will see further blogs on this soon as I have a book on the way about it - always good to know your children well xx.

Sorry for the ramble, the wrongly placed apostrophes and the many paragraphs of text. At the moment I'm still working on figuring out my life, so sometimes you might see building work in progress instead of a sleek well presented finished article xx.

Plans? You have plans? We three children laugh in the face of your plans...

So, I deactivated facebook. This morning I woke up feeling very relaxed and motivated. Toby had to be at the doctors for 10.40am for his injections and we managed to get there almost on time without any Jessica meltdowns. She rode her scooter all the way to saltaire roundabout which is up quite a hill, we missed the original bus I had planned to catch but I saw that she was trying her best and reminded myself that it was me who should have given her more time to get up the hill. So I encouraged her rather than getting cross, told her it didn't matter about the bus and just got the next one. We were only a few minutes late for the doctor and she felt good about herself.
Fast forward to this afternoon. Everything went wrong, Jessica's behaviour sky rocketed, Adam was mid meltdown and poor Toby was crying his little eyes out which he never does so presumably his legs were aching from his jabs.
James and I had planned to do as much tidying of the house as possible. Instead I was stuck on the sofa with a cuddly and bossy Jessica and the kitchen got more messy (as did James) when I tried to open the strawberry milkshake powder and ended up pouring it over his head whilst he was knelt down putting dishes away. Shaky hands. I've been having headaches recently, and now with shaky hands and noticing my engagement ring is more 'fitted' it seems that high blood pressure may be trying to sneak back in.
So James swept that up, I attempted to herd the children to bed without an all out war, and then I laid on the sofa and unashamedly cried. I am tired, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong with Jessica whatever I try, and poor Adam is getting grief at every turn - from his sister at home and a boy at school (letter to teacher has been written tonight and will be sent tomorrow and hopefully sorted) and is struggling to cope.
As an aside, James is sat watching 'Going Postal' and one of the lines struck me as what I would say "Can't I even die in peace?" hahaha. As many mums will testify, it's rare you even get to wee in peace.
So. James made me a cuppa and we talked and made plans for tomorrow, choosing to ignore the fact that they didn't work today. Without hope what is there left?? And I am currently sat reading "How to talk so children will listen and listen so children will talk". If nothing it helps just to know I'm not alone. Underneath it is "Siblings without rivalry", hopefully that will have some gems of wisdom. With another cuppa, and a pack of custard creams, we'll figure out a way forward I'm sure xx.

The perils of a countdown.

Recently I am struggling immensely. My to do list is never ending, my house is bulging at the seams (the man keeps selling things but then buying more with the money?!), and I have been waiting for a move date since November to a bigger house due to the owner being messed about by people he was buying from. So now, we finally have a definite secure date to move, at the end of May. I thought this would make me feel better, that everytime I got annoyed at stubbing my toe on an airer, or falling over 5 things in a row, or having to move the entire kitchen around to be able to sit for a family meal, or Jessica literally climbing the walls, that I could think "Only ... weeks". And I'm doing that, but it's not working. Because oh my goodness it's like the last pregnancy trimester, the clock seems to have stopped and wow is it dragging! Every little thing in this house turns into a big thing, the children are stressed, James and I are stressed, there are so many daily arguments and I am just hoping we make it to the new house intact.
I feel like packing would make me feel better, but we have no space to pack or place to put anything that we pack. We already have a ton of stuff boxed up at my parents that we could live without for a month or two. It's now been 4-5 months and the children want their stuff back. The plus side of that being that when we move they will have shedloads of 'new' stuff to play with whilst we unpack :-) Although Toby is growing out of his carrycot already so I may need to fish out the new pushchair that "We definitely won't need until way after we move so it can just go straight to my parents in the box" hahahahahaha.
Of course, have to look for the plus sides ;-) And we are amazingly lucky to have found somewhere local and spacious and within budget. But seriously, please give me strength, leeway, whatever for the next 8 weeks, I may seem grumpy and as up and down as a hyper 3 year old, but I promise things will improve soon. This year will be a good year, many unforeseen events have turned into positive future opportunities, and after all, it is Only 8 Weeks!!!
Jessica displaying crazy Mummy's feelings surprisingly accurately.....

I'll just get up and try again..............

Today has been one of those days that was fun and had lots of good things in like going to Ikea and buying some things we needed for the house, and buying Adam a chair for his hiding spot in the pantry so he feels he has somewhere to go when he needs a bit of a breather. And we had Chinese food for tea in honour of Chinese New Year, and fortune cookies which the children loved, especially the one that said "The important thing to remember about children, is that there are none so wonderful as your own". We watched Harry Potter 4, and Jessica has decided that she loves Harry Potter films, the same as she became obsessed with Narnia. I think it may partly be to do with the soundtracks possibly, the enchanting drawing in quality of it all?

But it was also one of those days where, again, homework became a battle that will never be won, and indeed I'm not really sure what counts as winning anymore, or who the winner in the situation would be. And where once the children had gone to bed I realised that I still had an immense amount of housework and laundry and pack lunch making and fridge cleaning and shopping list making and general tidying to do. And I was emotionally and physically tired, and I could hear Jessica coughing and just know I will be up again tonight. One of those evenings when you just really don't have all the answers and wonder why all the other parents seem to have them, why they don't seem to be having a child stressed out and in tears because they can't do their homework and they don't get reward stickers in their planner anymore and they're on the bottom table for maths and they never have time to change their reading book and they don't understand what's changed.........................I don't think having the first week of school in January off with a new teacher really helped my little 8 year old bundle of pure raw stress.....................................................

So, I am going to bed. I am going to leave the house, because even though I promised Adam we would keep it tidy from now on, sometimes, Mum's aren't perfect. Sometimes, we just need a night off. And it will come back to bite me tomorrow, but I'm tired, and cry-ey, and really unsure what to do about this newest challenge in the "Things they didn't tell you about parenting" book of life, and I think tomorrow me and Jessica might just have to put some loud music on and have a race to clean the house. Or something like that. It's not the greatest week for me to have a meltdown, since Adam is not sleeping at my mum's tomorrow and neither of them are sleeping at their Dad's on Thursday, but then again they are away all weekend so at least I can have a major rest and clean up then................well, not at the same time, but still 2 days with no children is an ocean of time in my life, so much can be done, including sleep! I will have to miss band practice this week, but this can not be helped, and although I have promised to go in this blog, having my children is an allowable exception. And maybe this week is a good time to have a break, last week, I seemed to see ghosts of the past every time I looked up, and even though I could play this Sunday as the children won't be with me, something in my head just stops me, there's a block there. I think, I am scared, of reminders and memories coming knocking through my walls. I would like to layer new memories on top of the old ones, like a layer of varnish that prevents them coming through, but I'm scared that trying to do so will revive and re-awaken them. And it's not somewhere I wish to go. I think this needs some more pondering on, before I make a decision.

So, I have decided, it is bed time. Everything, including making packed lunches, can wait until tomorrow. Jam sandwiches shall be the order of the day and I refuse to feel bad, after all it is St Dalfour no sugar or nasty chemical jam, after all ;) And I found this song. I like this song. It is a good song to end the day on, for tomorrow is a new day, and I shall start again. Don't skip listening to the song today, it's an important one x.

There's Always The Sun..................

How many times have you woken up and prayed for the rain?
How many times have you seen the papers apportion the blame?
Who gets to say?
Who gets to work and who gets to play?
I was always told at school, everybody should get the same.

How many times have you been told if you don't ask you don't get?
How many liars have taken your money .... your Mother said you shouldn't bet?
Who has the fun?
Is it always a man with a gun?
Someone must have told him if you work too hard you can sweat

There's always the sun.
mmmm
There's always the sun.
Always, always,always the sun.

How many times has the weatherman told you stories that made you laugh?
You know its not unlike the Politicians and leaders, when they do things by half
Who gets the job?
Of pushing the knob?
That sort of responsibility you draw straws for if you're mad enough.

There's always the sun.
mmmm
There's always the sun.
Always, always,always the sun.

There's always the sun.
mmmm
There's always the sun.
Always, always,always the sun.

Tonight my words aren't making much sense. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm feeling not good enough at many things. But I know, there is always the sun, there are always good times around the corner. I have learnt that much this year. So, because my words are not working very well, I am mainly talking through music.

And I'd just like to say....................

Hope to be back on top form shortly ;) xx.

She Already Is.............................

Ok...........so I have just seen a new feature on this and it says I have had 4008 page views??? Wow that's an awful lot. Admittedly some are probably me re-reading my blogs, but still I think that is an awful lot, best up the quality of my writing ;)

I am currently sat on the sofa. I should be tidying up, packing Adam's things for camp, washing nappies, getting organised, and going to meet James. But it's not happening, I'm just sat listening to music. I know this is not necessarily good for me, but it's where I am right now. I'm kinda hoping that by writing this out, it may enable me to kick-start myself back up and out there again, into real life. It's been a rough week, too many thoughts and feelings crowding out my head and taking me back to the past where I so don't want to be, but where I need to be to reclaim my own life back. I keep thinking what if, what if I had done things differently, what if I had spoken up for myself back then, what if I hadn't been scared, what if I knew I had a choice. And I keep getting angry, angry that my life is about this now, that it's bleeding out into my life, that it's no longer tucked away all neatly in its little box.

I found this song. I like it. Stupid Boy.

If you think this is about you, or somebody you know, it's extremely doubtful that it is so before you get all offended or offended on somebody else's behalf, please get a grip and remember that not everything is about you.

And that's the point. Stupid Boy. And she ran away, she was long gone. But what happened when she was tired of running? What then? What happened when she realised that to reclaim the part of herself that the Stupid Boy took away, she had to go back and sort it all out? And why does she have to do that? Why does SHE have to do all that, when HE can just carry on with his merry little life regardless, oblivious?

WHY?

I know why. It's because she is the winner. She is the one who can say "stupid boy, you're still stupid, but me, I'm right up here with my life and all is good". She just needs to learn to believe that. And stop trying to make her life perfect, stop trying to be completely perfect at absolutely everything to prove to him that he didn't win, that he never will win. Because she already is perfect. She already is perfect just the way she is, with all her flaws that make her human, with all her guilt that makes her a good parent, with all her hurt that makes her understanding, with all her baggage that makes her accepting, with all her sadness that makes her wise. She doesn't need to keep fighting to be accepted and loved ,because she already is. She already is.

A steep learning curve........

This Year Of Adventures, being true to myself, standing up for what I believe in and being honest, is throwing up some interesting things. Some sad, some good, some interesting.
I have learnt that I really detest discrimination of any kind and judgemental people too I can quite happily live without. Believe it or not, I have actually lost friends this week for NOT being racist, homophobic or 'class-ist'.  What a crazy world we live in.
This week, I am feeling quite angry. Unlike many of you, not about the riots. I am sad about the riots. Yes, I am annoyed with the people that have done it, and no I don't think their life experiences, whatever they may be, are an excuse for what they have done. But mainly, I am sad that they happened, sad for the people who have lost their lives and businesses and jobs, sad for the families of the metropolitan police in London who had to sit home with their children during the riots just waiting for their partner to come home, hoping nothing happened to them.
My anger, is reserved for two separate things.
The first thing, is anger for the reaction of many people to the riots. The fact that people can say, without thinking anything of it, that "it was the blacks", "it was the asians", "it was the benefit scum", "it's because they weren't smacked as kids", "it's because they came from broken homes". WHAT?? Anything to distance themselves from it, pretend that nobody that they could vaguely be connected with would have anything to do with it. It was individuals who rioted, not one specific group of people. It was people from many walks of life and all different areas of the country. By blaming specific groups, all that happens is the country becomes more divided, is that really helpful? I am just so angry that people can turn against each other so quickly. There are so many areas of my life, that I don't publicise, for fear of judgement. I don't keep them secret as such, but I also don't openly talk about them. Why? Because I am worried about being judged. But people need to realise that things are not mutually exclusive. For goodness sake, living on a council estate doesn't mean you are thick, and living in a 4 bed semi-detached doesn't mean you are clever. Being a single parent  with children to two different fathers doesn't mean you wasted your life or had more than a handful of boyfriends, and having 4 children to one man doesn't mean you didn't sleep with 100 men when you were younger. I am sick to the back teeth of people thinking they are better or worse than others, and generalising about people's situations. The people who rioted were wrong. It doesn't matter where they are from or their background or their reasons, they should not have done it. End of.

The other reason I am angry? Well, that's more personal. Yesterday, was the first birthday of my angel nephew Isaac Edward Mundford. And I have been mentioning it on facebook the last couple of days and also other times in the past few weeks. And one of my close friends, who is on holiday, remembered last week before she went and gave me a hug. One of my close friends yesterday sent me a text and wishes. All of the people on facebook, who copied my status, or commented, or posted on my wall, or simply "liked" my status because they didn't know what to say, or text me because they wanted it to be private, well they are people that I like, and care about, and am friends with, and some I thought of as quite close friends, others I have only just got back in contact with or don't know too well but do like. But do you know what? The people that I (up until now at least) considered my closest friends, the ones that I try to be there for and spend time with and are first on my mind when checking how people are or planning a night out or a night in or just a christmas present list. Only 2 of those people gave me any thought at all. One, before she went on holiday, and one text me even though he is extremely busy and we haven't really talked much for a month and he's not on facebook that often. From the other people, nothing. And yes, I'm aware that posting this is going to mean I get a backlash. About how busy they are and how I didn't remind them and all the times I have missed things and how they are going through a hard time at the moment. But, do you know what, I can take it. Because friendships need to evolve, and if I have missed things and they are going through a hard time and I didn't know or say anything to help, then we're both at fault and I need to know in order for the friendship to continue. And because, true friends, can take criticism, can say "I'm really sorry I didn't say anything and I'm sorry I wasn't there and why don't I come down for a cuppa and we'll catch-up and start over". And because I am so full of all these feelings this week that I have to get them out, and if people take it the wrong way and stop talking to me because of it, then that's their loss.

This is not really a positive post. But it's not really negative either. It is good, that I am learning more about myself, being able to be true to myself, not sitting back and thinking that unsupportive friendships are the only kind I deserve because I'm not good enough for the other kind. And also, it's helped me see more clearly who are my true friends, who out of the people I've recently met or re-connected with or met through forums, actually should be in my "REAL friends" list, should be nurtured and more effort be made with on my part. And that is a valuable lesson to learn.

"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything

"The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses."

Malcolm X

It's pretty hard to keep up with your blog when you can't talk about the thing that is foremost in your life at the moment. Or more to the point, when there is nothing that can be said about it because it is pure conjecture, made-up fantasy land stuff from the realms of a nightmare. What can I say?? Don't believe anything you see or read or hear in the media, I personally won't be buying a paper or watching the news for a long while, and I now understand where people are coming from when they say they don't read/watch the news. It's pointless. Inaccurate scare stories feed people's imaginations, make money, and ruin people's lives.
I have nothing to say, not because I know nothing, but because nothing has happened. All I will say is that I work in the best workplace I have ever worked in, with the most supportive staff team I have ever known, the best up-keep with regulations I have seen anywhere, and the safest most happy children ever. So no, to answer all the people that have asked me, I am not looking for a new job, I have one.

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Others Do Unto You

So I'm rather thoughtful at the moment. I kind of lost June, and that's ok. Sometimes it's better to just skip something than put pressure on yourself to do everything and anything. I'm tired as it is with keeping up at home and work, without putting silly pressure on myself to make up for a missing month on here. June 2011 will be forever the missing month. A month of moving and working and sports days and sun, of park visits and allergy meds and cocktails in Leeds and first time chilli making. There's a glimpse for you ;) I'm not skipping it because it was bad (it wasn't), so it's allowed :) You never know, the odd June photo might turn up every so often just to tantalise you!

So, back to the thoughtfulness. I have a lot of friends and family at the moment who are going through hard times. Obviously their own privacy is foremost here and it is not my place to divulge secrets, but I just wish, wish, I could take all their pain away. Money doesn't solve everything, but if I won the lottery I don't think I would have much of it left by the time I sorted myself out and helped everybody I would want to. But that would be fine with me, who needs money sitting in a bank account anyway.
I do think, that people need to think more. It is important to be honest, but that still can be done with tact. It is important to have your own opinions and not just run with the crowd, but that can still include being open minded. And, this quote has sprung to mind many a time this month:

"First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out--
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out--
because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out--
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me--
and there was no one left to speak out for me."
Niemoller

It doesn't matter if somebody is "different" to you (though what is different anyway?), everybody is people, and everybody deserves the chance to live and be treated with decency. On another note, whilst searching on youtube for videos relating to this quote, I came across real life Holocaust deniers. Wow, I didn't know they actually really existed in such a way as to be putting their views on youtube, I honestly can't believe that in this day and age people can STILL believe that it was all made up.

So, I found this:

I hope, one day, if I ever need to be spoken up for, that there will be somebody left to speak for me, as I have done for many others. I used to be prefer to be neutral (or Switzerland as somebody once put it), but now, now I prefer to be Me.

Oh, and talking of speaking out for people, this month, and next (and quite probably quite a few months after to be fair), are pretty tough months for my sister and her boyfriend, Katy and Justin, who became Mummy and Daddy to my gorgeous little nephew Isaac Edward Munford on August 10th 2010. Unfortunately we were only to have 2 weeks and 6 days with him before he was called up to Heaven.

Now, here is a picture of Isaac:

And here is a picture of his resting place, taken on the Royal Wedding Day:

My sister would love to be able to give him a headstone, and is currently raising money selling Mini Cakes to save up for this. If you would like to help, please take a look at Isaac Inspirations. All money raised from Mini Cakes goes to Isaac's Headstone Fund, all money raised from other items goes to the NeoNatal Unit at Leeds General Infirmary where Isaac was looked after by lovely nurses and doctors xx. I can testify that the Mini Cakes are extremely yummy :D

Now I am off to find other ways to help all the people that I care about that are having rough times xxx.

This song is stuck in my head at the moment. Whenever you see somebody suffering, think "There but for the Grace of God go I", and see what you can do to help.

"I come in peace...."

So, obviously, as I practically live on facebook when I am stressed, most people will know that I have to move house. And really, I should be grateful that I got 11 weeks notice. They could've just given me one month's notice. And they do seem very eager for me to get the house tomorrow, so hopefully the owner will like me. Fingers crossed.
I knew something would go wrong soon. Things were going far too well, tempting fate and all that. And you know, they do say sometimes that doors close so that other doors can open. The house we're going to look at tomorrow is on the same street as Adam's best friend at school, so that will give him somebody to play with, and it is also only around the corner from where Adam goes to Beavers/Cubs so that might also have some potential for an easier life. Got to look on the bright side and all that!
Sometimes it's kind of tiring, looking on the bright side and being strong all the time. I will sadly confess that I did slightly snap at somebody for saying I was strong today. But I apologised, because they are the last person in the world I want to fall out with right now, and they were being nice, it was just me being rubbish. Sometimes, I just get a bit fed up of always handling everything and being capable and knowing how to do everything and always working things out and being strong and dealing with things. Sometimes, I just wish somebody would come knock on my door, give me a hug, clean up my kitchen, make me coffee and cake, and tell me everything will be fine. I tripped over Buzz Lightyear just now, he said "I come in peace", and I thought, I wish..............

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya, Tomorrow, You're only a day away.......

There is nothing negative allowed on this blog.
Some days, there does not appear to be a bright side. There are some things in life, that you can't make a bright side of, and if you tried it would be rather inappropriate. And some days, you can have a pretty major setback and not really know how to get out of there again.
Today, is Totally Wow Wednesday. And here is my Wow moment.
A bad day, can just be a bad day. It doesn't have to be a setback. Instead of letting it consume you, embrace it. Yes, it's a bad day, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, so just do what you have to, then watch tv, and eat junk. Tomorrow, you can start over. The slate will be clean. Just because there isn't a bright side, doesn't mean that it isn't all part of some future amazing plan.

"Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings." Ralph Blum

The song that's coming into my head as I write this is technically a Christmas song, but I think I can get away with it.
"Sometimes life is not all it can be
And here we are
Wondering just how far this road can lead
And here we are
And from the darkness shines a bright burning star
And who we are is changing within our hearts

One night, One moment
And everything's changed
One night, One moment
And everything's changed

Tonight is so pure and so special
We'll never feel lonely again
Cos we are all standing together
As friends
And everything's changing forever
One Night, One Moment"

Friends are the most important thing in the whole world. If you have friends, you can do absolutely anything. You can even clear your bio-hazard of a kitchen, get the bin put out before the binmen come, and get your toddler to go to sleep :D