"When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change...."

It is definitely true that giving is far more rewarding than receiving. Today, I felt very happy that I had given other people something positive to think about themselves, it helped me to then feel good about myself too.
I have a new photo on my facebook profile. It isn't a traditional "perfect" photo, but actually I pretty much like it, it shows a bit of personality. It was a very random photo, taken by Christian when I wasn't really thinking, but it shows, I think, that I was rather relaxed at that point in the night, which is rather good.
Past events definitely shape who we are. I was told, the other day, that you can do traditional counselling and find out why you are like you are. But. Then what? You're still like you are. And it's right. You can pretty much figure it out yourself if you think back on your past and use your common sense to apply meaning to what happened then and how it could have affected your life now.
The fact is, a lot of bad things happen. But it's how we use those experiences that matter. And if it weren't for those bad things, I would not be who I am today. I would not be so open-minded, so tolerant, so able to fit in many different situations, so friendly to people I've never met, so caring, so determined to not screw my kids up, so passionate about the rights of the ordinary people, so crazy, so secretive, so expressive, so thoughtful. And I wouldn't have my children.
I am all of those things, I am amazing. We are all amazing, we wake up every day and we go out there and we take things on the chin and we learn from them, and we let them shape us, and we show our children how to get through these things and we never, ever, give up. You can never give up on life, because it sure as hell never gives up on you. And you can never regret your past, because without it you wouldn't be you. And you, are totally and utterly amazing.
Valentines Day is not about being a part of a couple. Valentines Day is about being loved. Everybody is loved by somebody, and many people are loved by many somebodies. Valentines Day is a day to love yourself, to reclaim that right. To say, hey do you know what? I don't care what anybody else thinks, I am bloody amazing, and life, life is pretty amazing too. Take hold of life and run with it. This year, I am going to run in the woods, and jump in the mud, and kick the leaves. This year, I am going to take trains and buses and explore my country, and open my mind to all it has to offer. I'm going to go to Whitby Harbour because Adam wants to know if it's really smelly, and take the train to London to see one of my best friends. I'm going to go meet a bunch of brilliant ladies in Edinburgh, and see the SkyLine Gang at Butlins. I'm going to take the kids to a festival so Adam can hear real music, and carry Jessica on my back so she can see all the action. This year, is going to be amazing, and if you are reading this, then your year is going to be amazing too, because you are part of my year x.
I would now suggest, you go listen to "The Size of a Cow" by The Wonder Stuff, followed by "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars. And obviously, you have to do as I say. Because, well, I am wonderfully amazing ;p

"High apple pie, in the sky hopes....."

Today, I have a job :D So that is one thing ticked off my yearly list after only 5 days, wow I am brilliant. I went for my counselling assessment today, and he told me I was pretty much being my own therapist and that this blog is an excellent thing to do. So there we go, the official seal of approval.
I'm also making some progress on my monthly list. Because I have tricked all of you into reading this blog, I have therefore as a nice little side-effect "Started a trend". And I am still working on number 7, which is going to be so brilliant it is unbelievable.
I am pretty chuffed about the job as the nursery looks very well resourced and the owners are also the managers and wear the uniforms and clean up sick and buy whatever is needed straight away and fund extra staff for children needing support out of their own pocket until funding comes through. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, to be frank. So now I have 3 weeks to organise Jessica - hahahaha.
So, today, according to my diary, is "Try a new flavour day". Which is rather tricky as being brought up in a big family and looked after by a zillion different people, I've tried a lot of things food. So I just tried the thing on the pub menu that I would never normally have and is pretty different from what I'd normally choose. Quorn Chilli with rice, sour cream and tortilla chips. Here we are:

And do you know what? It was really really nice and I'm really pleased I did it! I'm one of those people who eats the same few things every time I go out because I'm worried I won't like something different, but from now on I'm going to make an effort to really choose other foods, especially ones that I wouldn't cook at home.

I found this quote today.
It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
       - Theodore Roosevelt

And I remembered coming across this from my teenage poetry days:
"I do not want to
Should-could-would-have been
I want to Be
To live and to do all the should-haves"

I had high hopes for myself back then. I must regain those. I have just read the back cover of my diary, it says "Fantasticness One Brilliant Day At A Time". I like that.