Plums From A Stranger

So, I have been very absent because we have been to DisneyLand Paris and we are moving house in TWO SLEEPS and I was ill. I am most likely going to continue being rather absent as we won't have an internet connection for a couple of weeks and I need to unpack the house and make it all lovely and "family home-ness".

Almost every night I have thought of things I could blog about, and many times I have almost picked up my phone and started writing, but stopped as I just needed sleep and I knew that if I started writing I wouldn't stop, and then as the days went by I just couldn't decide which thing to write about as so much as happened. I needed a break, and sleep. I had a virus last week which was, I think, a very mild stomach virus but my body decided that actually it was pretty tired and couldn't cope with a mild stomach virus very well so would just stop working for a couple of days and make me stay in bed. I was slightly ill Tuesday, woke up Wednesday morning feeling better, walked down the stairs and promptly passed out on the kitchen floor, giving myself a stupid burn/graze above my left eyebrow in the process. I was shipped back off to bed and the children were whisked away from me for most of the next couple of days, with the GP instructing me over the phone that bed rest and much fluids were needed so I did as I was told for once. At the weekend I ventured into Shipley with Toby and smiled at a lady at the bus stop because I had thought she was tucking into a chocolate bun then realised it was a plum and smiled at myself really for being daft. The lady then, bless her, decided that I needed her plums because I looked tired. I managed to persuade her I had lots of fruit at home (I didn't want to take the bag of plums she had just bought for herself?!) but she did insist I had one plum to eat on the way home because I had the little baby to feed and look after. I didn't tell her I had two more in case she changed her mind and tried to give me them all again! But it was a lovely gesture and the plum was very nice, and I find it refreshing when people are still just "generally nice" to each other these days, when there are so many reports in the news of negative events concerning friends and family let alone strangers. I don't want my children to be easily trusting of others, but I also don't want them to be automatically mistrustful, and scared to talk to anybody. Having a chat with a stranger at a bus stop can be an interesting 5 minutes, a break from a busy day, and can often give you another perspective on things. It is always good to have an open mind.

So, I apologise for not telling you all the interesting things that have happened this month and not sharing our amazing time in DisneyLand Paris yet. I'm sure I will get around to blogging about how Jessica's favourite spot was the Dragon's Lair and Adam's was all the caves and tunnels in Adventure Land, how amazing it was to see the looks on their faces when the light show came on and the concern Adam showed for his sister when she fell asleep just before it started and he thought she would miss it (she woke up as it started and stayed awake all the way through so no worries). One day I am bound to reminisce about Jessica having a fringe cut in her hair for the first time and, upon looking in the mirror, announcing seriously "Well I'll have to change my name now!" There was also Toby's first roll onto his side, his amazing little smiles and gurgles, the way he was a superstar on holiday despite not usually liking too many days out in a row, and his really ace new brand of cloth nappies that I absolutely love and want some more of. We have had many "made up off the top of my head to use up the contents of the kitchen" teas, all of which have been surprisingly successful and some that have made our "main go-to list" which will help with saving some money in the coming months. There will be further news of Adam's first foray into music with Cornet lessons, which apparently are going great, and he actually walked to school with a friend, with me very far behind (carrying a scooter, a Jessica, and pushing a pram with a Toby in it), and happily got there all by himself, so his confidence levels are having a surge it would seem.

But for now, I am signing off, because I have a really exciting few days ahead, with a real family home to be created and I want to focus on life, right now, as it happens. Sometimes I miss facebook and my friends on there, but the positive changes in my life I feel are worth it and I can't see myself going back anytime soon.

The Breakfast Issue

I find it hard to eat breakfast even though I love breakfast food. The problem is that I love bacon and eggs, porridge, pastries, bakes, fruit salads, yoghurts etc. I'm not over keen on cold cereal and although I love toast, I eat far too much of it. Fruit and yoghurt are easy in a morning but I don't always fancy the chopping (plain apple/banana/orange doesn't grab me) or the coldness plus the kids steal it........

So I am working on this problem, trying to get a filling yet at least slightly healthy breakfast down me without it looking too cold, costing a packet, going soggy, getting stolen or just really not getting made in the first place.

One of my successes is Slow Cooker Porridge. Made overnight so I have to eat it the next day as it's already there! I grate an apple into it to get some fruit in me, might think about adding some seeds in there too. But it does require forward planning and it is getting to summer.

So this morning I whacked the following in the blender -
1 banana
2 yoghurt tubes (peach)
handful of oats
2 heaped tsp of crunchy peanut butter
Milk - just put in enough to part cover other stuff, didn't measure

And then I drank it straight down and it was yummy! No hard work crunching fruit and didn't seem same as other cold food first thing. I could improve it's health rating by adding more fruit and getting some plain yoghurt in the fridge (just used what was there today) but overall I think we have another winner.

Need to investigate my pins for some other breakfast ideas, maybe home-made muffins could be a hit...........anybody have any other ideas??

The Day Of Adventures.....

Today, I have crammed a years worth of adventures and mishaps into the short space of approximately 12 hours :D
And at one point, I was drowning in it all, but then I thought what, what am I doing?? Who else is going to sort all this out?? And as my lovely Louise Atkin said, this is what I am good at :D
So, I looked on google for ultimate feelgood songs, picked "Don't stop believing" by Journey (NOT the glee version, bleurgh sick-making), and danced in the kitchen whilst swinging on the worktops. And now I feel so much better ;)
I got up early this morning, took delivery of my new table and chairs for the garden (which now I need to find a new garden for......), then took delivery of my fruit + veg box, then took delivery of 4 giant children's maps - one of the world, one animals of the world, one of the solar system, and one of the ancient world. They are pretty awesome, but not putting them up now until we move. Then I took delivery of some bunting for Jessica's birthday party. Which is now also a house LEAVING party rather than house warming lol.
I ran around tidying my house for my volunteering mentor coming this aft, put Jessica back to bed because she was tired, then sent Adam with his friends mum to her house. Ran around did some more tidying, fought with some wasps for access to my washing line (and won, obviously), and built my table and chairs up. Questioning why bloody TESCO have to put 2 sticky labels on every chair that refuse to come off properly. Huh. Then I made Jessica's lunch, grabbed the Hello Kitty shorts that stupid H+M forgot to take the tag from, and speed-walked to Saltaire in 20 mins because my watch had stopped and I didn't realise so I only had 20 minutes to get there in. Looked around the house, phoned the estate agent to see what they were fixing, phoned my mum, and walked up to my old work to give Natalie Bithell the Hello Kitty shorts to get sorted at H+M for me cos she's lovely like that. Said hello to the gerbils at the nursery and got read a book about gerbils by two 4 yr olds who surprisingly remembered me, then took Jessica for a little walk around and had a nosey at the awesome new play area outside. Walked all the way back home, just in time to unlock the door before my volunteer mentor came. Had a chat and a drink and did paperwork, then gave Jessica a banana smoothie icelolly which apparently burnt her hand because she refused to hold it by the stick. Stood holding the lolly by the stick whilst Jessica sucked it, then gave her an ultimatum - hold it or lose it, and she decided to hold it herself. Went on the laptop and did a good/bad list about the house I'd viewed, then welcomed Adam back home from his friends. Tried to make tea, whilst Jessica sat on the side and 'helped', only to find out halfway through that the oven had broke, so instead of tuna fish pie with veg we had cheesy tuna mash with veg. Apparently it was the best tea Adam's had in ages, hey, who needs an oven??? Then I rung my sister for her opinion on what to do about moving house, then I changed Jessica's nappy 3 times in half an hour because she thought that would be a fun thing for me to do, and then everything exploded around me as the children ran around generally causing chaos and the oven timer bell kept ringing and my phone kept beeping with messages and the tv was playing some star wars thing and Adam was singing about "Dancing onto the floor all night oh yeah" and I was trying to decide where to live and how to fix the oven and what I need to buy and do for Jessica's birthday party, and when I could move house, and Adam was shouting "Mum she's pooed again!" and Jessica was laughing and stripping off, so I thought EVERYBODY STOP!!!!!!
And I took Jessica upstairs, put her pjs on, and put her to bed. Then I came downstairs, shut myself in the kitchen (Adam was happily watching Generator Rex, this was not neglect), and this is when I found myself playing "Don't Stop Believing" at top blast, and generally just deciding that actually, everything is going to be fine. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE.
Because I said so. So there. And I text James Coleman and told him that everything was going to be fine, because I had decided it was so. Because I needed to share this decision. And he agreed with me, which was nice of him. And then, then I rang my mum and told her I am going to take the house tomorrow if it's still available. And when I asked what they were doing, my dad said "relaxing, that's what you do after a hard days work", and I, inwardly, laughed. Because, my dad is pretty much retired and only does a days work every now and again. And HAVE YOU SEEN how much I've DONE today?????? My mum laughed at him too, haha. And no, I'm not relaxing. I have too much to do. But, it's ok, because everything is going to be fine. What's the point of it not being?
Ah, and breath................................

Looking back on March....

Ah.....looking at my March list I have been rather neglectful. I really didn't do much. I did notice the snowdrops in February though, so could excuse myself that one. Couldn't help noticing them, every 2 minutes in the car in Scotland my mum would be "kids, snowdrops, left hand window, LOOK" and although I am no longer a kid, I am still her child, and definitely felt compelled to do as I was told :D
I didn't say "white rabbits" and I haven't exactly spring-cleaned, but then maybe I have spring-cleaned my head a little, so that would count. Baby animals, smaby animals, my own kids are cute enough. Pancakes I did do, just with 2 people, and that was a quiet yet good evening. I have not left any pennies, but strangely enough did find one myself in bed on Friday morning....hmmm hope nobody has been reading my diary......well, since I put it publicly on the internet then I suppose I can't really complain :p
The supporting a team idea baffled me. For one month, is that truly supporting? I support my friends, that's enough.

I jumped though, oh yes I jumped! I jumped in the playground having races with a 2 yr old on a space hopper, and I jumped up and down and then stopped and started again on the requests of 3 year olds - simple pleasures. I jumped up and down to shake my holdall and try and get it to fasten to take to Edinburgh, and I jumped up and down trying to fasten the zip on the back of my dress last night. I jumped around my living room whilst dancing to various songs, including "Born This Way", "Do You Love Me", "Pearl" (well maybe not exactly dancing to this one....), "Strong Enough", "Goodbye To You" (The Veronicas's - ace but very peppy song lol!), "F***in Perfect", and obviously "Firework"... hmmmmmmm it's been a fun month!

Still couldn't dance last night. Well, I kind of attempted it more than I have done previously, but I was just too self-conscious, plus it didn't help that the guy I was dancing with was nice and funny but, well, let's not go there but it just wasn't what I was wanting really last night. And the people I was out with, they are really good dancers, and really confident at it, I wish I was like that. But hey, you can't have everything, and apparently I looked really nice so that's good right :D
I think, this morning, I have decided I am going through a Katy Perry time. Her songs are rather girly, which quite possibly explains the girl brain I was exhibiting on Thursday night causing me to be picked on lol. But ah, be fine, it's just a phase I'm sure.
Anyway, to get back on track. I haven't alphabetised anything, except perhaps when I'm trying to find a track on Spotify and I sort alphabetically by album, that counts right?
I didn't send zillions of postcards and letters, but I have a stack of envelopes next to me to be posted shortly, so I'm sure that makes up for it :D And I did accept lots of invites, and lots of good things came out of those so I'd say it's definitely worth doing.
I went to Edinburgh, and had a completely fabulous time, and will be going back with the children at some point as I'm pretty sure Adam will love it there.
Last but not least - Be lovely - that one was easy, obviously, I am sooooo naturally lovely ;P
Although, now I feel guilty, have just been text by a friend that the guy from last night was asking where I was later on (although I did tell him I was going home so.....). Is it just me, or does anybody else feel guilty when a guy spends time with you on a night out and you don't want anything, like you feel bad that they've spent time talking to you when they could've spent that time finding a girl who did want something to happen with them? Maybe it's just me, whatever! I should've been Catholic, constant guilt lol! He did tell me he had a good Catholic name too, coincidentally, uhhmm Christopher Michael something or other (I've forgot the surname, which was probably the most Catholic bit, oops!) And I was lovely, and gave him a very innocent tiny kiss as I left, so that he didn't feel totally short-changed. Be fine, sure he'll find somebody more forthcoming tonight when he goes back out :D
Sooooo, here is the month in pictures :D

Pancakes!!

Jessica wanting to help cook.........so she can steal fruit........

The infamous Piranha Plant Poisoning Pasta

 Deliciously gorgeous and more-ish home-made pizza yum!!

 Jessica wants to drink from a big girl cup.......and is therefore trapped in the kitchen....

This month me and Adam have mostly been reading.....

The reason I don't need to go out looking for cute baby animals xx.

Fab times in Edinburgh with totally great yummy mummies :D

Two random strangers that were staying in our apartment building :D

The legend that is Lyndsey - she organised the whole thing so was entitled to be knackered!

Posh food...... 

Posh cocktails..... 

 Posh puds....

 .....and Beautiful Ladies :D

I may have been neglectful this month, but that's because I have been busy with the more important, yearly aim, of laughing more. This month has been a good month, and I have laughed a lot, and met lots of really great people. And......I have managed, in the end, to keep my secret goal, possibly with the help of reent events but hey who cares why, it's done and dusted and that's all that matters!!! Roll on April..........:D



Simple Pleasures.....

I read, on the Green Parent magazine forum, about somebody reclaiming Sundays. They were doing it in the way of going "off-grid" that day i.e. not using electricity etc. I didn't quite fancy that, but I did fancy the idea of reclaiming Sundays. As a family day, a fun day, a rest day, a leisure day. Not a shopping day, or a cleaning day, or a lay on the sofa watching tv and then realise it's 12 o'clock and you've done nothing day.
And so, this Sunday, we -
Went to church (more specifically the Salvation Army). This is where I used to go from being a toddler until I was about 17/18, and where I was pretty much brought up. I left for many different reasons, but I knew this was a place my children would be welcomed and somewhere they could belong, but where I wouldn't get pressured, so when Adam asked to go to church, this is where I decided we should go. And it was just as I thought it would be, relaxed, informal, friendly, and welcoming. We stayed for a bit afterwards, Jessica was surprisingly happy to run around in a room full of strangers without even knowing where I was so that is how relaxed the atmosphere was, and she was even more relaxed enough to pull a load of pool cues on to her head to renew the permanent bump which had just been about to fade:

Moving on briefly (I shall rewind in a moment), her face today is actually covered in scratches and bruises, because she decided to come back in the front door just as her poor Nana was coming out, resulting in Nana falling over the top of Jessica, throwing herself sideways to avoid falling on top of her, and cutting her own head on the drive edging :( Both Nana and Jessica are fine, but went back inside for a sit down and a cup of tea before recommencing their journey.
Anyway, so, back to reclaiming Sundays. So, we had a lovely time and I was really proud to be told by somebody how lovely my children were and how good and how they had adapted so easily to the new environment :) So we are going back again on Sunday, think it will be good for Adam's confidence, as they were pleased as punch with his reading too.
We came home, put Jessica to bed, and me and Adam made ourselves some lunch:

Was lovely to relax and spend time chatting with him. Then I said I would get all the new outdoor toys out for him. At which point, I realised I had stupidly bought all inflatables, so was sat for the next 30 minutes blowing them all up and was then completely shattered! But then Jessica woke up, and it was lovely to see them playing together outside.

I sat on the back step with a cuppa and gave them a blueberry muffin each, and it felt good. Just to lead a normal everyday life, feels good.
So then I made tea, with a little help from Jessica, and there was way too much so I portioned some off to freeze for another time. Only to be told by Adam, that "If you fed this recipe to Piranha Plants, they would probably die". So, not a success then. Hmm, luckily Jessica liked it, so that's Tuesday night teas sorted for the next few weeks........
We then came inside, as they were getting cold (and Jessica kept running in and hiding behind the curtains, so I figured she wanted to come inside), and played on the Wii. We played Pictureka, which Adam is surprisingly good at, and Jessica giggled every time the Mr Potato Head shouted "PicturEKA!" So we redesigned him with a Cowboy costume for added giggles. This led to a big cushion fight between the three of us, which then, for some random reason known only to herself, led to Jessica sitting on the side of the sofa and demanding that we all sing "Wind the Bobbin Up". Ten times over.

There we go, the ceiling. Thus leading to me walking to work on Monday with that song stuck in my head.

So, all in all, it was a totally perfect weekend. And can I pinpoint one particular moment that made it perfect? Not really. It was just the overall package, just the taking time for me on Saturday, and the reclaiming of our Sundays. Reclaiming Sundays will mean different things to different people. For us, it meant relaxing, spending time together, being at peace with each other, and finding somewhere new to belong. If you do only one thing this year, reclaiming Sundays is probably the best thing to do. Since this Sunday, I have had a really good week, been at peace and happy and organised and relaxed and motivated. And, I've even cleaned the house :)
This is now going to have a random cut short ending, as I have a coughing toddler on my knee who is rather unhappy and would like cuddles with mummy. Night all xx.

Just a little something I made earlier.....

Ah. So today, I am a domestic goddess :) Well, apart from the cleaning bit haha!
This morning, I was supposed to be cleaning but I thought, nah, and watched tv for a bit before going out to meet a friend and do a bit of outdoor toy shopping. I have bought a phlat ball, some giant skittles, a giant "odd" ball, and a foam rocket shooter. And, that, my friends, is why the rain has come back. Sorry and all that.
So, I am back on target now. I have regained control over a couple of aspects of life (mainly the children's life) that were troubling me. And I dug out my copy of "Toddler Taming". Now, I have mixed thoughts about this book. I LOVE his older book, for 5-12 year olds. THAT is awesome. This one however, does trouble my sensibilities with lots of references to controlled crying and "the patented rope trick method" - involving, basically, roping the door so it only slightly opens, scary stuff :/
However, if I ignore all the stuff I don't like, it's not a bad book. It is very much into gentle guiding and diversion tactics, alongside passages explaining normal toddler behaviour and why it really doesn't matter, DO NOT PROD THE LION just tiptoe gently past ;p
So, having read a bit of the book the other night (before being interrupted by a toddler falling out of bed and therefore needing to sleep with me for the rest of the night, obviously), I reassessed my handling of the Jessica situation. It is not that I am a bad parent, or that she is a difficult child. It is simply that she is different to Adam, and I never quite expected it. She kind of blind-sided me. There I was, senior nursery practitioner, had a delightful 6 year old who had his moments but overall I figured I had done pretty well with despite him not being planned and me being only 20 and a single parent. So, a planned child, at 27, with 4 years nursery experience under my belt and a partner. No problems. Then, along came Jessica. Who is so different to Adam it is not even funny. She was clingy when he wasn't, yet settled in nursery far quicker than he ever did. She ate everything and anything, but now has suddenly stopped. She never played on her playmat, hated the door bouncer, kicked over the gym, and hardly entertained anything that even vaguely resembled a toy. She has tantrums that last 2 hours, whatever you do to try and stop them, and she never really knows what she wants anyway so you couldn't give in to her even if you wanted to. Except, of course, for the famous chocolate cake incident. When her delightful brother promised her chocolate cake if she came in the room.Only there was no chocolate cake. And a hurried look through Nana's cupboards revealed nothing she was willing to be pacified with. That tantrum was a long one, and a loud one, even my Dad was in shock. It has to be said, Adam has never repeated this "joke".
So, after reading my book, I have figured that really, I just need to go with it and not try to change her. She is beautiful and clever and extremely funny, and she is truly an individual. She just likes attention. She doesn't want to play with toys, or watch me do things. She wants to do things, with me or her brother she's not too fussy, unless she can tell she is being passed off onto her brother because Mummy is doing something that looks far more interesting. Tonight, I was making "cereal bars" (they look more like flapjacks to me but the recipe says they are cereal bars, so we'll agree to disagree, and it makes them sound as healthy as they surprisingly are). And she was stood next to me pulling on my legs and pointing at random things in the kitchen. Which, usually I would respond to by giving her the food she was pointing to or saying "no Jessica you can not have the kettle". But I realised I was being dumb, she just wanted attention. So, I sat her on the worktop and she helped me cook. She kept tipping the ingredients on the top rather than in the bowl, but we just scooped them up afterwards. And then, when it got to the part where I needed to use boiling sauce in a pan, because I had included her all this time, she was quite happy to go see Adam "just while Mummy does the hot burn part". Now, I'm not saying she is now all of a sudden placid. I had to blockade the kitchen door to stop her throwing milk all over my carpet, comb her hair whilst she laid down on her bed kicking and screaming at me, and put her nappy on whilst she performed various contortion acts with her body. But, I did it with a smile on my face. Because, that is normal for her. That is her normal behaviour. And she's probably going to be an extremely confident and strong-willed adult. And if I do my best to give her the attention she needs, and remember that she is not the same as toddler Adam, then really everything will be fine. It will be chaotic and loud and funny, but it will be fine. I am not doing anything wrong, it is just different. That is the problem I had, I think. Everybody kept telling me I was so good with Adam, that I felt like I had to be perfect with Jessica. And with everybody watching, how could I feel confident enough to change the approach that I had used with Adam? Now, I am confident enough to know it is not the approach that needs changing, just the tactics. The approach is still the same - love them for who they are and respect their right to a personality. It worked for Adam, it will work for Jessica.
Anyway, because SOMEBODY commented on my facebook in a surprised fashion that I could cook, I took pictures.

Jessica munching on a dried (non-sulphured!) apricot, aww doesn't she look cute :)

Yeah, I am cooking!!

20 minutes later :D

20 minutes later than that........:D And Adam's verdict? Mum I want one in my lunchbox EVERY DAY if we had enough money I would take them on Dragon's Den for you!! (I'm not sure he quite gets the concept of Dragon's Den.......)

As an afterthought, just whipped up a batch of oat and blueberry mini-muffins for a Sunday morning breakfast treat...

You know when you cut "flapjack" up and it crumbles, well, you just have to eat all the pieces that aren't really square, don't you?

So yes, today has been a good day. And I haven't done anything extraordinary, I've not taken them to a theme park or spent a shedload of money on an expensive climbing frame. But they've gone to bed happy, and life is good.

Actually, I'm in a sharing mood. Here are more pictures:

Jessica helping to load the washing machine - early training to prevent her flooding her house in the future AKA Rachel Saville.

Jessica learning to drink from a big girl cup, hence her being trapped in the kitchen away from the carpet........

Oh, and I bought a new book today. It is our new project. We are going to get a map of Britatin, and work our way through it. Magic :) And if you all tell me where you live, I shall come for free board and lodgings :D

Tonight, Give Yourself More Credit

Tonight, I have made a really yummy fish pie. Tonight, I have done laundry and folded clothes. Tonight, I have soothed a 2 hour tantrumming toddler who, to be fair, no longer knows which way is up. Tonight, I have had a discussion with a 7 year old about how you know which God to believe in and why there are so many to choose from and what if you choose the wrong one? Tonight, I have learned about the Chinese soldiers who thought they were immune to foreigners bullets and died, whilst their emperor stowed away in a wagon and left them to it. Tonight, I have learned the intricacies that surround a 7 year old's decision making processes, especially concerning what they think you want to hear. Tonight, I have written a letter to stop my 7 year old getting detention for not doing his homework, because he was too upset to do it for various reasons and "why do we have to get it every week anyway it's too much I'm too tired mummy to do work at school AND at home but I'm trying my best I really am" :( Tonight, I have looked up lots of ideas for outdoor play, to help him learn how to catch and kick so he doesn't get picked last for PE. Tonight, I have washed up the fish pie making pile. Tonight, I have done a budget and figured out how to afford all the outdoor toys. Tonight, I have packed lunches and book bags for tomorrow, and suitcases for daddy's house. Tonight, I have read a few friends problems with their families and children, and written replies to help them find solutions. Tonight, I have read the EYFS and tried to think of ideas for work. Tonight, I have made a difficult phone call and put my children first despite my own insecurities. Tonight, I have had a lot of coffee. Tomorrow, I could do with a break.

This post, is not negative. This post, is about how, when we really look at what we do, do you know what? We are bloody brilliant. I do a lot of things, every day, without even thinking about it. The list above is just since 5pm. I really should give myself more credit :D