The May List 2013

May Outside-ness Mantra

Repeat after me......
                           Hooray!

1. At last flip flop o-clock is here
    & this month of may, I will get OUT & about
    Yes: Out of my comfort zone*
    (*which is where the magic happens)

2. I will spend at least 82% of my time in nature*
    (*including at night under the stars)
    Indeed, Alfresco will be my middle name*
    (*I may even get deed poll involved to make this official)

4. I will run til my legs hurt
    & laugh til my belly aches
    & have picnics.

5. I will go to places I have never been
    & have seven kinds of adventure.

Yes, May, you will be a breath-of-fresh-air kind of month you will.

and as we now also have a "the bright side" family calendar......

May Family Magic

1. Dance around in the kitchen*
(*if your kitchen is really small develop an innovative routine using very small movements ONLY)

2. Make stripey lollipops in the freezer

3. Fill your house with flowers

4. Learn a new skill*
    (*and show it off)

5. Gaze at clouds & stars & anything that makes you look up

6. Invite round your neighbours

7. Have your first BBQ

& Always look on the Bright Side

Plus.....
8. Pack up the entire house and move AGAIN - very reminiscent of The May List 2011, however with two extra people and lots more extra stuff* (*fortunately to a much a bigger house with, hopefully, places for it all to belong!)

...and from Limbo we enter Chaos

So the last week has been rather crazy. We have been in limbo for a while now, waiting to move, waiting for Jessica's birthday, waiting for Cub Camp, waiting for Disneyland, and now suddenly they are all upon us.
Jessica had a fabulous birthday party, with much help from Julie, Rachel and my Mum. Toby happily played whilst it was all set up, wanted feeding 10 minutes before it started, sat with my Mum for the whole afternoon and wanted feeding just after it finished - perfect baby or what?? All of the children were lovely and it was a fun and thoroughly enjoyed by all afternoon. I can't post any pictures as they all have other people's children on, and I know for a fact that three of the children there can't have their pictures on the internet and wouldn't dream of putting the other children on without their parent's permission anyway. But I can share a picture of the Treasure Map Cake I did at the last minute when Jessica suddenly decided two days before her party that she would quite like one of those.

Not bad I don't think - Jessica loved it so that is all that matters :D
We had telescope making, dancing, Pirate Pete says, dancing, musical bumps, dancing, Guess where the X should go on the map, dancing, colouring sheets, dancing, pass the parcel, dancing, a crazy 5 minute "CANNONBALL FIGHT!!!" with plastic ball pool balls and side-turned tables complete with table-cloth covered legs for good old fashioned health & safety (rather than just banning it outright like all these politically correct people would have you do these days :P) and then a "WALK THE PLANK!!!" to the food tables with cannonball cheese crisps + grapes, cheese on swords, jelly boats and pirate topped buns amongst other yummy offerings. The party bags were given out simply containing chocolate coins, freaky fish, a "Pirate ............'s Room" colouring sheet (free printable online) and a sheet of pirate stickers, and many thankyous were said by all. It was a fantastic party to say that a good amount of the children were only just 3 or under and I was really impressed.

So now on to the next happening which is Cub Camp, Adam took all his bed kit tonight and made his bed roll, luckily I had remembered to sew his Diamond Jubilee badge onto his camp blanket so I am in the good books. The rest of his kit needs packing up tomorrow, fingers crossed James is picking up his new walking boots from the sorting office tomorrow and we have everything he needs. He comes back at lunchtime on Monday and we are setting off at lunchtime on Tuesday so a quick laundry turn-around, possibly borrowing Nana's dryer, may be needed on Monday afternoon!! Although if he is the same as he was on Big Camp last year he will come home with a bag full of clean clothes, wearing his thermals and the same set of clothes he went in because "you have to get up early for breakfast and it was too cold to keep getting changed". So, uhm, a bath/shower at Nana's may be needed Monday afternoon actually, if we have to be all sat in the same car for hours on Tuesday afternoon.......

Talking not-so-good odours, we have car sickness tablets and sea-bands for Jessica to try out, and I am just about to search google for trips on what to pack for kids with a tendency to throw up on car journeys. Wish us luck!! I am also creating some travel activity bags for the kids, using and adapting some fab activity ideas I have found on pinterest. I got 2 velcro pads with attached ball (put away for future use) for only £1.69 today and created a figure play set each, and with amazing timing my Aunty got Jessica some magnets with a two-sided magnetic play scene so we have taken all of her magnets off the fridge and created another activity set for her.

Adam will no doubt be enacting a mini World War II, whilst Jessica can continue her bizarre obsession with Cut the Rope figurines.

Forever Friends set, with added Peppa Pig, Dora and Barney magnets, the other side is a garden party scene.

I have bought some dry eraser 'crayons' by Crayola that need no caps, some lollipop sticks, and will be working on a few ideas I have up my sleeve over the next few days.

So we are food listing, packing listing and car journey listing tonight, with a good sprinkling of tidying and getting everything ready for the morning so I can hopefully repeat last Thursday's success in getting all three children out of the house and Adam at school on time. Then in the afternoon it is time for new Jessica car seat shopping, looking for something that is relatively simple to clean in the likely event of it being covered in sick, oh joy. We will be mostly shopping and packing over the next few days, ready for our exciting trip to Disneyland Paris yippee!!! Then when we get back, only 2 weeks until move date so the packing can begin in earnest, double yippee!!

I am feeling a lot more positive, although having many meltdowns in the midst of all this as this house is just far too crowded and small things become big things in that kind of situation for all of us, except Toby who remains happy and chilled regardless, bless his little soul. I am sure, somehow, he has been sent to restore peace to our little family unit. He is definitely here for a reason.

The Bright Side

I have been re-reading all of my old posts over the last few days whilst organising some labels. And I feel like my older posts were more positive and fun. I would love to get that back, in to my life in general as well as on here. So on that note I am going to get back to the original premise and as from the 1st May will be re-starting The Lists from my diary - in fact I have a diary and a calendar this year so it may mean double lists :-) I can't possibly start until May because there is only just over a week left of April and it is mahoosively busy. Put it this way - I could've been triple booked next Saturday night if I wasn't concentrating!!
See you all soon on The Bright Side xx.

The perils of a countdown.

Recently I am struggling immensely. My to do list is never ending, my house is bulging at the seams (the man keeps selling things but then buying more with the money?!), and I have been waiting for a move date since November to a bigger house due to the owner being messed about by people he was buying from. So now, we finally have a definite secure date to move, at the end of May. I thought this would make me feel better, that everytime I got annoyed at stubbing my toe on an airer, or falling over 5 things in a row, or having to move the entire kitchen around to be able to sit for a family meal, or Jessica literally climbing the walls, that I could think "Only ... weeks". And I'm doing that, but it's not working. Because oh my goodness it's like the last pregnancy trimester, the clock seems to have stopped and wow is it dragging! Every little thing in this house turns into a big thing, the children are stressed, James and I are stressed, there are so many daily arguments and I am just hoping we make it to the new house intact.
I feel like packing would make me feel better, but we have no space to pack or place to put anything that we pack. We already have a ton of stuff boxed up at my parents that we could live without for a month or two. It's now been 4-5 months and the children want their stuff back. The plus side of that being that when we move they will have shedloads of 'new' stuff to play with whilst we unpack :-) Although Toby is growing out of his carrycot already so I may need to fish out the new pushchair that "We definitely won't need until way after we move so it can just go straight to my parents in the box" hahahahahaha.
Of course, have to look for the plus sides ;-) And we are amazingly lucky to have found somewhere local and spacious and within budget. But seriously, please give me strength, leeway, whatever for the next 8 weeks, I may seem grumpy and as up and down as a hyper 3 year old, but I promise things will improve soon. This year will be a good year, many unforeseen events have turned into positive future opportunities, and after all, it is Only 8 Weeks!!!
Jessica displaying crazy Mummy's feelings surprisingly accurately.....

"These Are The Days So Wake Up 'Cos This Is The Time...."

"......And You Know I'm Right"






And so it begins, a new phase of time. Now, I must make a point, that I am not one of those annoying "New Year, New Me" types, who make loads of resolutions and then breaks them in a week.  I don't really do resolutions. For me, this is a new phase because I have stopped working and am staying at home, because I am approaching the "met a year ago" mark with James, and it just so happens that this coincides with a new year. If it was May, it would still be a new phase of time for me.

So, I have shifted my List of the Year around a bit. Deleted some things that I'd either achieved or have realised are no longer important. Have edited some things that I want to change the focus of. Have added some new things that I'd like to try and work on. You may notice a subtle shift in priorities, towards a mellower, more  chilled out existence, focused on home life and the smaller more important things in life, such as crafting and gardening and playing and reading and just basically enjoying life, unrefined basic life, with all the fancy bits stripped away.

It's going to be rather an exciting fun year. There's a couple of weddings, probably more to be planned for 2013/4 with the recent engagements that have been announced, lots of babies to be born to some really lovely Mummy's, and a few other plans afoot to make it a year to look forward, a year of change, but positive gentle natural moving forward change, rather than forceful take the wind out of your sails change. I am rather organised, having bought Jessica's birthday presents in a rather amazing sale, and have actually managed to find a decent hiding place for them :O


It's all looking good, and going well, for some reason I feel rather quiet, rather thinkative, I don't think I'm feeling foreboding, I'm genuinely happy and positive about the near (and far) future. Maybe it's just because I can be quiet, I have time to be quiet, without too many thoughts of work and study and childcare arrangements crowding in on the already busy thoughts of children and family and house and bills and school and friends and life in general. After only one week of not being at work, I really am not sure how I managed to fit it in. Of course, this could have something to do with both children waking up with chicken pox on New Years Day. Picture the scene, getting Jessica dressed, lift up her tshirt and "Oh." Shout up the stairs "James, Jessica has chicken pox again!". Mention on facebook that Jessica has chicken pox again. Five minutes later, Adam says he has a spot on his stomach. Lift up his pj top to reveal a back covered in spots. Shout up the stairs "James, Adam has chicken pox too.......again.........this is the THIRD time!!". James decides he'd best get out of bed at this point....................Mention on facebook that Adam now also has chicken pox. Have a comment that only my children could get chicken pox more than once or twice :P
So. A week stuck in the house. An extended school holiday for Adam. But strangely, it was fine. I wouldn't exactly say I was glad they had chicken pox or enjoyed them being ill, but what I did actually quite like was that I managed it well, I didn't have to worry about being off work or losing money, I didn't have to feel guilty about leaving them with other people, and my frame of mind in general just got on with it and it was fine, even the sleepless nights were dealt with without too much stress.

So, bizarrely, a severe bout of chicken pox has actually made this new phase of time begin with a good positive start. If I can handle that and still remain happy and settled, then really, that has to be a good sign.

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want"

Ben Stein (American Actor, Lawyer, Writer, b.1944)

Times They Are Changing

It's time to get back to the original purpose of this blog. Now is the time.
I can't quite get myself to go back to the diary, as much as I love it and love the lists, it is somewhere that I needed to be at the time, something I needed to do to get me going, kick-start me. But to go back to doing it now would be too prescribed, too structured, I think I've moved beyond that phase.

Let's refocus on The List Of The Year :D

The children have been on adventures, we have been camping and they loved it - well I'm not sure that Uncle Stuart loved driving around for an hour in the car getting Jessica to sleep on the first night but it's all a learning curve ;) We have moved house twice in the year, which is an adventure in itself, and have re-started Salvation Army attending. Now it's Autumn we can go for crispy walks in the woods and wander along the canal all wrapped up snug and warm with the promise of hot chocolate and warm cookies on our return.

I do believe I am getting better at photos. I am smiling more, letting it be about the moment, and not stressing *too* much. The only problem I have is when you're stood there smiling and there is a massive delay on the camera and your smile starts to feel fake and you feel like a clown. I'm still working on that one.

I went to Bingley Music, spent most of the time in the kids area - which was absolutely fantabulously amazing - but did go down to the music field for a bit and Adam actually loved just standing there for a bit, so next year I think we may try to do it on a more organised scale with more people, blankets, etc. Jessica should be that bit older to make it more do-able anyway. Adam's highlight of the day was seeing "The Teenagers!!!!" from the army, bless him.

I think I'm learning to like myself, I'm sticking up for myself more anyway, it's a work in progress. I'm definitely happier now that I've got my keyboard adaptor working, and have managed to find a tenor horn to loan. I feel I can get back to my self that way. I'm not the greatest piano player in the world to be fair. I can do two hands and I can do my scales, but my fingering is quite often pretty poor and I can never do all the chords and extra bits. Hopefully I play with expression and that makes up for the bad technical skills! So that covers my aim to re-learn the piano. The Tenor Horn is a different story. Well it used to be. I can play that, it's my instrument and I'm good. Many people play it as a poor second to a cornet, there are too many cornets in the band already, or they can't reach the top notes so get "downgraded". Not me, I love the tenor horn. I did start on the cornet, as most learners do, and yes I struggled with the high notes. But when I moved to the tenor horn I fell in love. It's my favourite instrument in the world and it even looks good. It's less pushy than the cornet, it's not there at the front saying look at me look at me. But it's there, it's sound is there in the very centre of the band, and quite often with lovely haunting solos just coming out of nowhere. I just hope I can still play after all this time. I sat in the living room last night with my fingers in the air and seemed to remember the fingering of all the notes, just like riding a bike, so fingers crossed.

I still can't dance, and really I think that's on a back-burner. Not everyone dances, some people prefer to be on the sides with the music. Maybe that's part of who I am, and do I really need to change that? I'm not sure.

My  friends I am talking to more. And some old friends I am definitely talking to more. And some even older friends I am talking about important things with, sharing and overcoming past issues. You can't get any more real than that. I have lost a friend or two, but the ties with others have become stronger. And that is what counts. One of my friend's mums said to me, you can't stay friends with everyone you have to do what's best for you, as long as you don't go around purposefully hurting people then that's all you can do.

I haven't been looking on the bright side. My blogs have been rather dark, and I've been slipping, I know that. But this is start-over day. This is the bright side peeking out and making itself known again.

I am laughing more. I laugh with James, mainly. He just can't help himself. I laugh at work, and I laugh with the children, and I laugh with friends. Lightening up is the order of the day.

My house is getting there. I have let it slip slightly in the past week or two but it was tidy enough for me to do that without it causing absolute chaos. I am aiming for Christmas, by Christmas it will be beautiful. This Christmas IS going to be a good one, I know it, and will make it so.

Organising my photos and making memory books and finishing Isaac's birth sampler have all been on a back-burner. I needed to get my head together first, and learn how to relax and let myself have me time again. I seem to never sit down, sit still, or just be. Hopefully I am getting to a place where I can start doing that again, and then, when I am there, they can be brought to the fore once again.

Eating properly and toning up have been a challenge. I was eating properly but then with everything that's happened in the past couple of weeks I just kept forgetting. But I'm trying, I really am, and that is all I can do. I have James here making me food and reminding me to eat, so fingers crossed it will all work out ok. And I will get back on the Wii Fit one day, as with the photos and cross-stitch it has been waiting for me to allow time to myself first. I was going to join Zumba but I've decided it's just too far outside my comfort zone to work, and also I want to go to band practice again which is on the same night. And will definitely enhance my life far more than Zumba. I know myself better these days, and that is a definitely correct choice.

The cinema is a story in itself. I haven't been every month, and not for a while, but I have been more than I used to and I have seen films I would never have thought of seeing. I saw Thor and Captain America and actually enjoyed them, so will be going back more often and trusting in other people to choose good films. As long as there's nothing scary in them. I still always remember when an ex took me to see "Resident Evil". He knew I was terrified of zombies, and because I am a completely naive person to computer games I didn't have a clue what it was about. I couldn't sleep for weeks afterwards, even now thinking about the storyline can make me lie in the centre of the bed with my eyes wide open. So, I complained to my ex before him about this. And he told me how bad this was, how he can't believe he did that. And then, he took me to the cinema. To see 28 Days Later. REALLY?! Now I research all films thoroughly for even the slightest mention of zombies, undeadness, viruses, before getting anywhere near the cinema building. I am open to different genres, but NOT THOSE!!!

So now I am going, as I have a 2 year old yelling at me from the living room for "BEEEBIES MAMA MORE BEEEBIES!!!" And we need to get dressed and get to the army. But I'll leave you with this final bit of wisdom..................

The July List

Ok, so I have really let this blog slide. Which is understandable, I moved house. But now my life is fairly settled, my house is finally feeling tidy (enough), a home and a place to be, and I've caught up with work paperwork, and only have one week left before the summer holidays, so I think it's time to jump back on it before I get lost all over again. Now, the list for July has some questionable things on it, such as:
2. Get freckles - I don't get extra ones
and 4. Go skimpy - No, I don't think so
and especially 6. Pull a sicky - Again, no, not an option
So, as it's half-way through the month, I figure I can miss up to half the things, so 3 knocked off is no trauma :D Here's the new list:

10 (or now 7) Do-it-just-do-it Things to Do in July

1. Grab life by the round things
3. Have extra cream on your strawberries (or extra strawberries on your cream if you are that way inclined)
5. Cut the crusts off your sandwiches
7. Stay out til it's actually properly dark
8. Party
9. Finish the icecream
10. Be lovely

Everything in Moderation.......

I am absolutely shattered. This week has been incredibly long and busy. And tonight I am slightly worried, I know I am tired and liable to get slightly stressed tomorrow and I'd really like to have a good time tomorrow with the children. So I am going back to my fail-safe way of dealing with these things. Planning. I am going to make plans for tomorrow so that it will all be ok. Usually, I like to just relax with the kids at the weekend, go with the flow etc. But this week has not been usual, and I don't want to end up feeling rubbish. So I am going to plan the day within an inch of my life, and I know it will work. And also, that if everything goes ok, I will feel on top of the world tomorrow night, at having got through a tricky time. So, I am going to go dig out my Toddler Busy Book for some good ideas (Adam will enjoy doing things with his sister or I can extend them for him).
So far, plans are:
Breakfast
Bath
And then, not 100% but will possibly involve playdough, traintrack building, marble run building, baking biscuits, and/or a couple of activities from the Busy Book. Fingers crossed. I have just realised that I've packed the Busy Book so will have to undo that box, but be right. And then, when I've done all that, I will send them off to the Dad's, knowing I did my best, and will spend the rest of my weekend relaxing and being looked after and getting back on an even keel.
Sometimes it's ok to use previous behaviours to help stay on the right path. It won't make me be a control freak, it will just help me get back on track, as a temporary solution it's fine. The next few weeks is going to be kind of tough, with moving etc, so I think it's a good idea to have a plan to help me keep in control, and then try and relax and get back to normal afterwards when we're settled once again in the house. It's ok to be more laid-back etc, but things are kind of hectic and messy at the moment, and I think a bit of planning and listmaking is needed for a bit just to keep things working out.
See you on the other side folks!!

The May List

10 You Only Live Once Things To Do In May

1. See a man about a dog
2. Wink at someone of the opposite sex
3. Get on TV (but not for winking at someone of the opposite sex)
4. Arm wrestle* (*I recommend someone weaker)
5. Go for it
6. Lie still, close your eyes & listen to the birds in the morning
7. Gambol in grass clippings
8. Feel the sun on your face* (*& other bodily bits)
9. Thinking about somebody else first
10. Be lovely

and

11. Pack all your house up!!!!

Looking back on April.....(And the 1st of May).........

A lot has happened this month. And a lot of that has happened during the Easter holidays. It feels like a lifetime since I was at work, although I know that once I am back there tomorrow it will feel as though I was never away. Time is funny like that. I said I wouldn't include Jessica's "friends" party in April as it was on the 1st of May, but I feel it fits in better with April so that's where I'm going to slot it.
We found out Jessica is allergic cats, need to update her nursery form with that one tomorrow. She is starting nursery with me tomorrow, so hopefully will put her good face on and all that hahahaha. We've had Jessica's birthday celebrations, which from start to finish were really great and really made a fab ending to the holidays. She pretended to be shy everytime she was sang Happy Birthday to, but by the third party she got the hang of opening presents, think she was rather bemused this afternoon to find no party waiting for her when she woke from her nap. She looked longingly at the empty bun stand this morning, think that will definitely be a prerequisite for any kind of gathering from now on. And my freezer and fridge, and kitchen worktops, are fully stocked and will feed us for the month!
I made my relationship with James "official", and bless his cotton socks, Adam said to me on the day of Jessica's garden party "Mummy, if you would only go out with somebody that me and Jessica liked, does that mean if James wanted to go out with you he would ask me first?" So, that was James heading off for a private conversation with Adam when he arrived on Sunday, and then me being summoned by Adam "Mummy, I've got to tell you a secret, come on!! James wants to ask you out!" And I was summarily told that he had given him permission, and really, I had to say yes. So, dutifully, I did. And there we have it, the children are happy, what more can I say.
We London adventured, house searched and organised (and now I really can't find where I put Adam's Beaver folder, hmm), toy shopped, and garden partied our way through April, and came out the other side a happy secure little family, surrounded by lots of fabulous friends and with many things to look forward to.
As for the April List?
We didn't play tiddlywinks, must work on that one. I did stay out extremely late, ill-advisedly on the eve of Jessica's garden party lol, but hey, fun was had by all and I don't regret it for a second. I sang in the shower, but I hope the neighbours didn't hear because my singing voice is truly bad, and not only did I jump in puddles, I splashed and ran and slipped in them whilst caught in a thunder storm on the way back to the hotel in London - Flipflops were worn, but are now considered to be inappropriate attire for rain due to the slippage factor whilst trying to run with a pram!
I think, I have been very spontaneous this month, and I don't care to limit it to Tuesdays, so there. Ha. I haven't attempted a world record, as far as I know, but maybe Adam might have with the amount of outfit changes he had at the party on Sunday.
And I tend to call or see my mum extremely often, especially with my washing machine being broken, so I think that's something that doesn't really need working on.
Oh, and be lovely. Well, obviously, that was easy ;)
Number 11 and 12, I worked on these, and I think I'm getting better at them. We'll see how it goes.

Here are some this month's best moments:

Adam has a cap, I want a cap

Plaits!!

Picking all the dandelions, whilst mummy had a well deserved cuppa

The instructions for THAT car.

The parts for THAT car.

And THAT smile, made THAT car, worth all the effort :)

London adventures :)

Jessica the cool London tourist

I just love this pic

Caught in a thunderstorm....get her out or take a pic? Hmmmm.

Return visit to the War Museum

EASTER!!!! CHOCOLATE!!!!

We went to see Isaac on the day of 'The Wedding' and gave him a truly British look

Jessica's present from Nana + Grandad

It's my birthday and aren't I cute :)

It's my cake, I will eat it how I like.

Yummy buns

3 on 1, yep, that's fair hahahaha

That's what you do, open the first pressie, it's a chair, sit in it to open the rest :)

I loved this month. It was fab. Enough said.

The April List

Here we go:
10 Interesting and Experimental things to do in April:

1. Play tiddlywinks
2. Stay out late
3. Sing in the shower
4. Jump in puddles
5. Turn some heads
6. Consider flip flops
7. BE SPONTANEOUS* (on Tuesdays only)
8. Attempt a world record
9. Call your mum everyday
10. Be lovely
11. (bonus thing) Plant something and watch it grow

And some extra things I need to add:
12. Stop worrying so much about what other people think when I'm happy
13. Be strong and don't let people get me down

This month we will also be going to London, having 2 weeks off work together, and celebrating Jessica's birthday - the family side of it, the rest will be in May so let's not cheat and put that in here ;)
Oh, and I must go to the cinema again this month, send me film ideas please!!!!

Looking back on March....

Ah.....looking at my March list I have been rather neglectful. I really didn't do much. I did notice the snowdrops in February though, so could excuse myself that one. Couldn't help noticing them, every 2 minutes in the car in Scotland my mum would be "kids, snowdrops, left hand window, LOOK" and although I am no longer a kid, I am still her child, and definitely felt compelled to do as I was told :D
I didn't say "white rabbits" and I haven't exactly spring-cleaned, but then maybe I have spring-cleaned my head a little, so that would count. Baby animals, smaby animals, my own kids are cute enough. Pancakes I did do, just with 2 people, and that was a quiet yet good evening. I have not left any pennies, but strangely enough did find one myself in bed on Friday morning....hmmm hope nobody has been reading my diary......well, since I put it publicly on the internet then I suppose I can't really complain :p
The supporting a team idea baffled me. For one month, is that truly supporting? I support my friends, that's enough.

I jumped though, oh yes I jumped! I jumped in the playground having races with a 2 yr old on a space hopper, and I jumped up and down and then stopped and started again on the requests of 3 year olds - simple pleasures. I jumped up and down to shake my holdall and try and get it to fasten to take to Edinburgh, and I jumped up and down trying to fasten the zip on the back of my dress last night. I jumped around my living room whilst dancing to various songs, including "Born This Way", "Do You Love Me", "Pearl" (well maybe not exactly dancing to this one....), "Strong Enough", "Goodbye To You" (The Veronicas's - ace but very peppy song lol!), "F***in Perfect", and obviously "Firework"... hmmmmmmm it's been a fun month!

Still couldn't dance last night. Well, I kind of attempted it more than I have done previously, but I was just too self-conscious, plus it didn't help that the guy I was dancing with was nice and funny but, well, let's not go there but it just wasn't what I was wanting really last night. And the people I was out with, they are really good dancers, and really confident at it, I wish I was like that. But hey, you can't have everything, and apparently I looked really nice so that's good right :D
I think, this morning, I have decided I am going through a Katy Perry time. Her songs are rather girly, which quite possibly explains the girl brain I was exhibiting on Thursday night causing me to be picked on lol. But ah, be fine, it's just a phase I'm sure.
Anyway, to get back on track. I haven't alphabetised anything, except perhaps when I'm trying to find a track on Spotify and I sort alphabetically by album, that counts right?
I didn't send zillions of postcards and letters, but I have a stack of envelopes next to me to be posted shortly, so I'm sure that makes up for it :D And I did accept lots of invites, and lots of good things came out of those so I'd say it's definitely worth doing.
I went to Edinburgh, and had a completely fabulous time, and will be going back with the children at some point as I'm pretty sure Adam will love it there.
Last but not least - Be lovely - that one was easy, obviously, I am sooooo naturally lovely ;P
Although, now I feel guilty, have just been text by a friend that the guy from last night was asking where I was later on (although I did tell him I was going home so.....). Is it just me, or does anybody else feel guilty when a guy spends time with you on a night out and you don't want anything, like you feel bad that they've spent time talking to you when they could've spent that time finding a girl who did want something to happen with them? Maybe it's just me, whatever! I should've been Catholic, constant guilt lol! He did tell me he had a good Catholic name too, coincidentally, uhhmm Christopher Michael something or other (I've forgot the surname, which was probably the most Catholic bit, oops!) And I was lovely, and gave him a very innocent tiny kiss as I left, so that he didn't feel totally short-changed. Be fine, sure he'll find somebody more forthcoming tonight when he goes back out :D
Sooooo, here is the month in pictures :D

Pancakes!!

Jessica wanting to help cook.........so she can steal fruit........

The infamous Piranha Plant Poisoning Pasta

 Deliciously gorgeous and more-ish home-made pizza yum!!

 Jessica wants to drink from a big girl cup.......and is therefore trapped in the kitchen....

This month me and Adam have mostly been reading.....

The reason I don't need to go out looking for cute baby animals xx.

Fab times in Edinburgh with totally great yummy mummies :D

Two random strangers that were staying in our apartment building :D

The legend that is Lyndsey - she organised the whole thing so was entitled to be knackered!

Posh food...... 

Posh cocktails..... 

 Posh puds....

 .....and Beautiful Ladies :D

I may have been neglectful this month, but that's because I have been busy with the more important, yearly aim, of laughing more. This month has been a good month, and I have laughed a lot, and met lots of really great people. And......I have managed, in the end, to keep my secret goal, possibly with the help of reent events but hey who cares why, it's done and dusted and that's all that matters!!! Roll on April..........:D



Procrastination - the greatest evil of our times ;p

I am supposed to be packing. And having a shower and making all my house tidy to come back to after the weekend. Because tomorrow afternoon/night I am busy with a couple of things that I really really want to do and not cancel, so I need to be all done tonight. Hmm. Very unrealistic.
I feel highly infectiously happy and hyper, lots of things are making me smile today. The weather has been glorious and we have played out lots, with bubbles and music, and it has been fun. I can not even begin to explain how much I love my new job and place of work.
So, today today today. Started off lots of fun, haha!! I had to set off early to catch the bus down to my mum's as she couldn't bring my pram home last night as some stupid weirdos smashed my brother's window so she had my nieces staying at her house whilst he waited in for it to be fixed. Anyway, I didn't fancy setting off 3 hours early to let Jessica walk down, so I just set off 15 minutes early and got the bus. So there we were, legging it out of the cul-de-sac, laces untied, coats in hand, Jessica complaining I wasn't letting her walk (I actually wanted to catch the bus, you see...) When we got off the bus, Jessica steadfastly walked to the edge of the pavement and tried to walk into the road. The wrong way. After a few false starts and complaints, she eventually figured out it was walk the right way, or be carried. So she held her hand out like a little lady and walked beautifully all the way to Nana's. When she got there, she had a stress over food and where to sit, then tipped her milk all over the table, and my coffee all over my mat. I decided to go to work. On getting out of the house, I realised her "no-spill" cup had lost it's valve, and had spilt in my bag. Everything seemed fine and it was only water so I thought argh be right. On the way to Bradford, I wrote a list of packing things, and felt rather organised. Then I realised I'd forgotten my lunch. Then I put my hand in my bag and realised my DIARY WAS WET!!!!
And I thought, do you know what, it's sunny and it's nearly the weekend, so I made an executive decision to start the weekend early. I went to Caffe Nero and treated myself to a double espresso to take out, and bought my lunch from there too. In the past, the fact of everything that had happened that morning, and the prospect of the fabulous weekend ahead, would have made me really dread being in work. But this job is different, I LOVE this job!! The people I work with are great, the owners are great, the kids are great, the parents are great, the place is great. I actually was happy to be on my way to work, it cheered me up!! How amazing is that?? But, I think I may need to invest in an espresso machine, as that double espresso was very delicious and I don't think it will be good for my budget if I buy one every morning.
Everybody was giving me funny looks on the bus this morning as I kept looking out of the window and then scribbling things down on my packing list. They probably thought I was a crazy writing lady. They wouldn't be far wrong. This week I am rather happy and hyper and very tunnel-visioned, and if I am supposed to be doing something or deciding something or paying something, please don't expect anything to happen until after Monday. My mind is working over-drive right now, and something has to give. Most things, in fact.
So, now, I really really have to go pack. And shower. And I really think I'm going to be up until about 1am. And, I did tell James Coleman that I was going to be sensible and not go on facebook tonight until I had packed, which obviously was a blatant lie, but in my defence my phone was dead all day so I felt a need to catch up. And now I just feel a need to not pack. And, really, who in their right mind would believe me when I said that I wasn't going to go on facebook for a whole night??? But then again, he is not very clever. I have just read on facebook that he cut his own hand with scissors he was holding. He obviously thought I wouldn't read that, as I wouldn't be on facebook. Hmm, well, now everybody knows :D

Space Hoppers Are Cool

I love my new job!!! I sooooo love my new job!!! It is the bestest nursery I have ever seen or heard of or worked in or anything!!! Sorry, had to get that out of my system :D
So, this month is going good so far. It's only the 2nd of March, but hey, let's be optimistic!
So, I am thinking of the penny thing. Now, I know, that the most excited people in the world to find lost pennies, are small children. Adam loves to find pennies and stash them in his moneybox. So I could leave pennies in the school playground. However, I imagine the teachers wouldn't be too impressed. From experience, it is amazing how much disruption one found penny can cause to a class of under 8s. So I think it is best to simply leave pennies in my garden for Adam to find. And Jessica, of course. Miss "I demand to be included and I will also get out of bed and get a book to read because Adam is doing" - yes that's right I can hear the patter of toddler feet above my head little monkey!!
I have done lots of jumping in the last 2 days. As it is absolutely freezing, so I have been having jumping races with the children at my new setting. But they have cool space hoppers and I don't :(
Ah, so the Spring Clean. Which may appear random, but it is linked to the Space Hoppers. My house is pretty well organised and clean, so I will be spring cleaning my garden and sheds. I am pretty sure Adam has a giant space hopper he got for Christmas, so we may be having a bash on that soon, would be worth a pic on here :D Oooh, if I buy another we could have giant space hopper races at my housewarming/Jessica's birthday bash :D
I am doing absolutely brilliantly well with my secret goal, although I wasn't supposed to be starting it until Tuesday, but something came up that kind of led to it semi-starting already, so yes, it is good.

This is a boring blog today, because it is just about how wonderful I am and how lots of good things are happening hehehe.
But, there is a lesson to be learned here. Things are only going well, because I sat up and told myself they were going to. I didn't set myself ridiculous heights to reach or unachievable goals. One step at a time. I'm pretty certain that I will be due a bad day soon, and things won't be great. But I have made lots of new friends recently, and re-connected with some old ones, and I know that I will make it through anything, with more knowledge of myself and the tools I need to make life happen. I am even thinking of attempting to get over my great zombie phobia :s
Now I am off to fish all the books out of the duvet covers and then have a TV catch-up because I am so damn organised that my house is clean and our lunches packed for tomorrow already :D

If you need help, ASK for it, and listen to THE song:
What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Joe Cocker

The March List

• Say 'white rabbits' before anything else on the 1st
• Notice the snowdrops.....aren't they lovely
• Spring clean
• Search out baby animals & behold their cuteness
• Have a pancake flipping competition with 7 friends* (*who aren't as good at flipping pancakes as you)
• Leave a penny for someone to find
• Support a team
• Jump
• Alphabetise something (anything)
• Be lovely

I am also adding the following myself:

• Write letters + postcards to people :D
• Accept any invitations (if I can afford it and am free of course)
• Go to Edinburgh with all the other yummy mummies ;p
• And I have a secret goal that I am telling nobody apart from Claire T and Ann, and they MUST prod me to make sure I keep up with it :)

A Month's Worth of Memories........

It is the 28th of February!!! The end of the month, the start of new beginnnings. And how funny is it, that in my new job, this term's focus is on "New Beginnings". How cool a coincidence is that, totally meant to be :D
My new job is fab, yes it is a trek but other than that it is great. The staff are friendly and it is well organised but laid back and relaxed and I really love it and am looking forward to working there.
So so so, it's time to think back on the month.
From my yearly list, I have made some excellent progress! I have booked the children on some adventures with me for later in the year, namely London and Kendal Calling (they still have tickets if anybody wants to adventure along with us!). I'm working on the photo, but am getting less hung up on the bad ones (as you will see below). I went to see Illuminatus with Roj, and as mentioned have booked to go to Kendal Calling. My house is getting lovelier every day, and I made some progress on Isaac's birth-sampler whilst in Scotland. I went to the cinema twice, and am going again on Wednesday. And, I have a job!!! WOOHOO!!
Now here's the fun random bit:
Start a trend - DONE - thanks to you lot reading this ;p
Watch an entire boxset in one sitting - Not done due to time restrictions, however am planning for this weekend, no need to get hung up on the delay :D
Bobble hat it up - See http://themorninggirl.blogspot.com/2011/02/story-of-not-post.html
Catch a snowflake on your tongue - The weather (which I was then blamed for, when surely it should be the fault of the author of my diary......) was on my side:

This is, admittedly, not a nice photo of me. But I am trying to get past that fact.

Get an early night - This was hard!! But I slightly managed it last night, the day before my new job. For me, 10pm is early, so there!

Take your favourite person out for cake - I made a cake, and ate it with my 2 favourite people, Jessica and Adam xx.

Send at least one Valentine's card (even better, send loads!) - I sent lovely Valentine's cards to lots of lovely people :D I then spread the love further by falling over, tipping the pram and bag up, and scattering confetti hearts all down Green Road :D

Stroke soft things (always ask permission) - This I did.

Draw on steamy windows - Me and Adam drew smiley faces on the windows in Scotland, but it wouldn't show up on the camera :(

Be lovely - This, I did. I am ALWAYS lovely ;p

All in all, it was a fab month, the first of many more to come. Here are some of the brilliant memories that were made this month:

Jessica missed her brother so she stole his pyjamas

 

 It's time for dancing!!!

 The beginning of the great teeth evacuation....... (Adam hates this photo but I'm trying to teach him the way of the wise ones in not being hung up on photos......also I think it's funny :D)

 A fun laughing night with friends

Cousins bonding in Scotland

Adventures in the Forest in Scotland

This month was a rollercoaster, there were sad times and bad times and hard times. But most importantly, there were fun times and good times and happy times and friend times and inspirational times. Apparently, it doesn't have to be bad things in our life that affect us, it can just be the lack of good things. So, if I ensure that my children have plenty of good times this will counteract the bad times. Because who can stop those happening, and truly, would we be the people we are without having persevered and struggled through those difficulties? I think not. I am a real person, and my friends are real people, and I want my children to be real people too. We live in the real world, and we must find our place within that.

 "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." Vince Lombardi

And on that note people - after sharing this link I shall be crazily dancing to "Do you love me" by The Contours - join me in this madness ;p

Higher, Higher and Higher!!!!!!

Woohoo!! I have found a festival, that is family friendly and not too overwhelmingly massive for the kids (and me haha), in the NORTH of England!!! How ace is that!!! I just need to figure out travel and tents etc, I am probably being totally too optimistic here, but I think that if I managed to get 5 trains to Wales and back with Adam at 3 (and still in nappies), with a pram, and 5 days worth of luggage. Then surely I should be able to manage with them both on a train with only 1 change, and a shuttle bus? I mean, I'll only need enough stuff for the 3/4 days, and you can get those little pop-up type tent things right? Uhm, yes, I'm being wildly optimistic I know, but sometimes you have to be!! And, I managed with a buggy and a kids suitcase and a massive rucksack and a little bag on all those trains, so I figure if I have the same but with an extra 7 year old to help me pull/carry things, should be ok? Hahaha, I know, I'll figure something out I'm sure. I really really really want to go!!! It would be cool if other people wanted to come along too, but I have decided that I should go anyway with the kids and not be a scaredy-cat just because nobody else can come.
Ah, so, that is my hyper-ness over and done with for the night. And breath. I'm really looking forward to starting my new job after the hols, can't believe how lucky I've been to find somewhere that seems so nice and friendly and small and well-organised. And Adam is totally chuffed that I'll be off in the school holidays, bless him.
I have been told, by a qualified therapist, that lists are a good thing. So "ner" to all you people who have laughed at my list-making. Apparently, it breaks things down into manageable chunks, helps our brain to process, and means we are more likely to complete the tasks. HA!!
And on that note, I have had lots of people asking about the cleaning method I put on facebook yesterday. I purposely put on facebook I was cleaning so I wouldn't be able to be distracted on there! Now, I did get the idea from somewhere on the internet and I've forgotten where, and I have adapted it anyway, so I'm going to call it "Chaos Clean" (thanks to Sarah Iles for that idea!), that way I won't be stealing anybody else's title (I think it was called a Crisis Clean, so this is NOT a Crisis Clean :D)

Chaos Clean Rules

1. Don't get distracted doing extra things that don't really need doing right now, or distracted by moving things between rooms.
2. Make sure you're fully dressed so you feel properly awake
3. Have happy energetic music playing on a playlist so you don't have to keep skipping tracks etc.

Then, you start in the kitchen. 15 minutes. Get rid of all the rubbish, stack the washing up + put things to soak etc. Anything that doesn't belong there just stack by the door. When 15 minutes is up, stop immediately. Move to the living room, taking the door pile with you. Again, get rid of any rubbish, and stack anything that doesn't belong in there by appropriate door (hall if belongs upstairs, kitchen if belongs in there). Just work your way through, sorting things into piles. After 15 minutes, immediately stop. Go back to the kitchen, carry on what you were doing. After 15 minutes, stop and have a 15 minute break. Then start the cycle again, but instead of doing the kitchen twice (that's just a kick-start cos kitchen usually messiest), do a different room i.e. bathroom or bedroom. So for example: Kitchen, Living Room, Kitchen, BREAK. Living Room, Kitchen, Bathroom. Remember to only do 15 minutes in each room or you'll get bored and lose motivation, and have 15 min break every 45 minutes. I personally, only do 2 cycles at a time because the bedrooms I usually do on a night when the children aren't here so 2 cycles does all my downstairs and bathroom. You won't believe how much you get done! As one person commented, at first you feel guilty leaving a room half-done, but then you go back to it you feel like it's easier because you've already done half of it x.

I think, this approach can be applied to lots of things in life. You look at something and think it's overwhelming. But if you divide it up into manageable chunks, you can do it. And you need to remember, to always give yourself a break. Far too often we beat ourselves up over things that really we shouldn't. Everybody is human, everybody deserves to blow off a little steam, have a little rant, have a little slob, and then pick themselves up and start over. Step by step, day by day. This week I had a lot on and my mind was totally going crazy. I wrote it all down, divided it up between the days, and then thought "oh, I don't have that much to do each day."

Today's song is "Don't Worry, Be Happy" Bobby McFerrin, followed by "Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher" Jackie Wilson. I distinctly remember dancing madly around with a 4 year old to these songs in my last job, and that vision will always be with me :D

Today's lesson - Love myself more

I have painted my nails tonight. For no specific reason except to prove to myself I could do it, after yesterday's disastrous attempt. And I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror (genuinely, I was not looking, there is a very big mirror in my bedroom which often seems to follow me around and catch my eye at the most inconvenient times). And do you know, I looked at myself, in my dark skinny jeans and my long-sleeve black top, with my expertly painted nails, my hair in a messy bun and my vintage style watch. And I thought, bloody hell Dawn why on earth do you feel rubbish tonight?
So, I am going to write a list of ten things that I love about being me. This may take a while.
1. My body (when fully clothed) looks pretty good - apparently, especially my bum
2. I have never said anything bad about Adam's biological father to him, so he does not hate him and has less issues to deal with in that area
3. I am quite clever :D Especially at maths, and english, and analysing situations
4. I studied full-time (and passed) whilst looking after a toddler by myself
5. I studied again (and passed again), whilst holding down a stressful full-time job and being pregnant/having a newborn baby
6. I have made my house look beautiful and my children feel at home
7. I have long hair and I love it
8. When nobody is around, I dance in my bedroom to "empowering" songs, then collapse on the bed laughing. It's kind of fun.
9. When I am having a bad day, my children never know
10. I have lots of really good friends, who are always around for me

Wow, that was hard. It is very hard to think of nice things to say about yourself and your life. I must do it more often. If you are reading this, you should write something that you love about yourself as a comment. I promise it will cheer you up. And also, as a little side-effect, it will make me feel less big-headed ;p

I definitely need to work on the dancing issue. When I am out, I can't dance. I physically just can not do it. I feel like everybody will look at me and think I look stupid and I just freeze up. When really, I imagine more people probably look at me because I am not dancing when everybody else is!! So I am going to add dancing to my yearly list, but I think that is going to be a tough one to crack. I have, on occasion, got incredibly drunk and danced quite a lot. But even then, I have to be a specific level of drunk AND in the right mood, and I can probably count on one hand the amount of times in the last ten years it has happened. I don't know why I have this issue, but it's been around as long as I can remember. If anyone disputes this and remembers me dancing in clubs a lot at any specific age, please feel free to correct me as it may help me figure out what went wrong.
I almost apologised tonight for this blog being neither exciting nor interesting. But I stopped myself. Because it is excellent and amazing and wonderful, because I wrote it. I found some poems I wrote as a teenager, and they make me laugh, I obviously thought I was so cynical and cool and knew more than anybody else lol.

Careers, Future Plans, or Fate
Red and blue, confused
Don't know what
Know what I want
Do you?
Do I know or you
Confused
Blue

Everybody, fireman, sales
Policeman, airplane maker
Choices, young age
Made
Stamped in red, forever
Never
Change your mind

Stuck, rutlike, 17
Where's your future
Where's the dream
Gone, vanished
Stuck, rutlike
Money, rent and bills

Quick and easy
Cosy little room
Plan out your future
Paper, pen
What was that again
No, do this
Future plan now exists

Do exams and fail them all
Wreck your future have a ball
Start again
Do something new
Forget the stigma
Change your mind

Don't know what
What to do
Go for red
For freedom, love
Not blue
Not what to do
Just you