A whole new beginning....

I'm debating leaving facebook. It's something I think about every now and again. Recently a few friends have left and said that after a week or so they really don't miss it. They feel like they are living 'real life' again. I feel sometimes it brings out the negative side of me. It's so easy to moan, or to get into arguments over stupid pointless memes.
I use it to keep in touch with friends I've met on facebook, or through BC. To keep in touch with far away friends, local friends with the same interests or parenting ideas. The home education community is busy on there. I could use it when starting up in self employment if that is what I choose to do. But something in me feels like I will be more free if I leave.
It's hard to decide. I'm going to put the idea to one side for now. I need to do that more often, instead of trying to work on lots of ideas at once I just need to focus on the most current. Right now I need to plan Jessica's birthday. Then Disneyland, then moving. After that I can focus on self employment and our wedding.
But maybe, after we move and before I start those next two 'projects', I could put some time into my 'real life', figure that out first, and move forwards from there. You never know, it could be a whole new beginning ;-)

This one's for you..................

This is another funny one. A good time to be ill? The children timed it perfectly with their chickenpox, after I'd finished work, after the Christmas festivities, and whilst they had lots of new toys to play with whilst stuck at home. The weather was rubbish and despite the itching and lack of sleep it was nice to have some family "time-in". Now, it appears I am ill, and it is also a good time. I suddenly developed a bone-aching cough at around midnight last night (or this morning, depending on your take on the matter), and didn't get back to sleep until after 5am. I didn't even doze as I sat on the computer playing Japanese number puzzles to try and take my mind off the fact I was unable to even breath without it being followed by a bone-aching coughing fit. My shoulders, arms and wrists ache every time I get one of these coughs, I'm not really sure on the reason but just put it down to my weak wrists and imagine I will most likely get arthritis of some description when I'm older. Ah well, there are worse things in life, or so I'm told anyway :P

But it is a good time for this. This week I have really kept up with my own personal take on the FlyLady routines, and my house is gorgeously clean and homely, a lovely place to curl up and watch TV in whilst I get better. I couldn't really have timed it better. I do have the children back at 5.30pm, but I also have James coming over after work and to stay all Sunday too, so all will be good. Have been offered a lift to the Army on Sunday morning as well, so feeling very settled right now. Things appear to be falling into place rather well. I guess, when you take the bull by the horns and decide it is the right time, then the right time comes along. 

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

A time to plant and a time to uproot

A time to kill and a time to heal,

A time to tear down and a time to build

A time to weep and a time to laugh

A time to mourn and a time to dance

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

A time to embrace and a time to refrain

A time to search and a time to give up,

A time to keep and a time to throw away

A time to tear and a time to mend,

A time to be silent and a time to speak

A time to love and a time to hate,

A time for war and a time for peace.

I'm not feeling overly great, and appear to have completely forgotten how to move photos from my blackberry to here. I will ask James to re-teach me, and will be back very soon with pics from this new time in my family - of leaf piles, buns, nail varnish and the re-emergence of Adam's World War II obsession :D

I'll leave you with this.......................it's stuck in my head, and it's not really aimed at a particular person, I think rather just the whole of my life and the people and places in it right now..........................I chose this version more because the video is more "me" than the Elton John one, usually I would go for the original but the images in this sum up much of what are really the best times in life.....................just to be.

"Smile with the rising sun......"

"Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah"
Tis nearly the new year of 2012 people!! And I think, the time has come, to make it a good one.

"We weren't born to follow, come on and get up off your knees, when life is a bitter pill to swallow, you gotta hold on up to what you believe...Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow, and that your saints and sinners bleed, we weren't born to follow, you gotta stand up for what you believe"

For who else can make it a good one for us? We hold our own lives in our hands, and those of our children, and whilst many factors influence what happens, the ultimate decisions are down to us. For some of us, we may believe our lives are in God's hands, but personally for me it still all comes down to your own choices, God can only guide, not do for you.

I personally feel, that the next year, and many more to come, will be good ones. Because I, as a person, am stronger, and happier, and more able to not only support my own decisions, but also support my friends in making theirs. If we all help each other, then we stand strong - it is easy to knock down a few bricks, but a whole wall cemented together? That is pretty damn hard to do. So this year, if you want it to be a good one, if like me you are fed up of the bad ones, then stand together with your friends, your family, and control your own destiny. And then, whatever the year throws at you, it can never get through to your inner core, and that is what makes you you.

OH, AND, I have a camera again!!! And a netbook!!! So I can become more ever-present again in all your lives, and re-do my blog for the upcoming year, and you have to admit that will surely make the year more amazingly wonderful that it is already going to be ;)

Finding the Christmas Spirit......

It is my birthday tomorrow - I will be 29, shocking ;) - and then 2 sleeps until Christmas Day, and finally, finally, I am feeling Christmassy!!!

I don't know where this Christmas Spirit came from, or how it jumped upon me so unexpectedly,  but I am willing to overlook it's sneakiness and embrace it ;)

Maybe, maybe it's because I met a good friend for a coffee and saw her beautiful engagement ring and am so so so happy for her, and Adam said she will look like a princess on her wedding day because she is beautiful, awwww. 

Or maybe, it's because yesterday, a friend who I have only recently become properly back in contact with, was so kind to bring me milk and juice so I didn't have to break my promise to Adam about not leaving the house all day.

Or maybe, it's because another friend is being so kind as to take me shopping for my Christmas food tonight so that I don't have to get a bus or taxi, and another friend also offered to take me if my original plans fell through.

Or maybe, it's just because, just because of all of these things, these people, these friends.

This is from one of my favourite Christmas films, Nativity! A film about seeing the best in people, about following your heart, and about forgiveness and seeing the real meaning behind all of the glam and glitz of Christmas. About loving, and helping, and just seeing what life can be, if we can only make it so. Yes, do you know, this year has been hard, for so many people I know. But I think, we are all pulling ourselves out of it, and definitely for me it has only strengthened the ties I have with many people, deepened true friendships, and made me appreciate the "real" things in life.

When I originally started this blog, none of my aims for the year were to be rich, to own lots of things, or to do anything massively ludicrously expensive. Not because I was being sensible, but because I was being truthful and open, because mostly, it's the "real" things in life that make us happy. The people we share our lives with, the times we spend with them, and the ways in which we enrich our own lives by putting time and effort into ourselves. The next year is forecast to be hard, by the financial experts, by the media, by the government. But who are they to control our lives and our happiness? Of course we need enough money to live on, enough food to eat and fuel to keep us warm, keep a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. But the essence of our needs, the real need of people, is to be loved, to be "part" of something, in a community of people, and to feel like we are cared for, for who we truly are. And we can do that whatever the banks or newspapers or politicians say. If you do one thing in 2012, be yourself, "Sparkle and Shine", and show the world the reason that you are loved, because we all are loved by somebody xx.

And finally, because I am not sure I will get on again beforehand, seeing as tonight I need to clean up the glittery green playdough the children have left all over the table, hang the paperchains on the ceiling, wrap all the presents, do my Christmas food shop, and start the process of making yummy sticky sausages for my birthday tea tomorrow........................I'd just like to say...............

IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Times They Are Changing

It's time to get back to the original purpose of this blog. Now is the time.
I can't quite get myself to go back to the diary, as much as I love it and love the lists, it is somewhere that I needed to be at the time, something I needed to do to get me going, kick-start me. But to go back to doing it now would be too prescribed, too structured, I think I've moved beyond that phase.

Let's refocus on The List Of The Year :D

The children have been on adventures, we have been camping and they loved it - well I'm not sure that Uncle Stuart loved driving around for an hour in the car getting Jessica to sleep on the first night but it's all a learning curve ;) We have moved house twice in the year, which is an adventure in itself, and have re-started Salvation Army attending. Now it's Autumn we can go for crispy walks in the woods and wander along the canal all wrapped up snug and warm with the promise of hot chocolate and warm cookies on our return.

I do believe I am getting better at photos. I am smiling more, letting it be about the moment, and not stressing *too* much. The only problem I have is when you're stood there smiling and there is a massive delay on the camera and your smile starts to feel fake and you feel like a clown. I'm still working on that one.

I went to Bingley Music, spent most of the time in the kids area - which was absolutely fantabulously amazing - but did go down to the music field for a bit and Adam actually loved just standing there for a bit, so next year I think we may try to do it on a more organised scale with more people, blankets, etc. Jessica should be that bit older to make it more do-able anyway. Adam's highlight of the day was seeing "The Teenagers!!!!" from the army, bless him.

I think I'm learning to like myself, I'm sticking up for myself more anyway, it's a work in progress. I'm definitely happier now that I've got my keyboard adaptor working, and have managed to find a tenor horn to loan. I feel I can get back to my self that way. I'm not the greatest piano player in the world to be fair. I can do two hands and I can do my scales, but my fingering is quite often pretty poor and I can never do all the chords and extra bits. Hopefully I play with expression and that makes up for the bad technical skills! So that covers my aim to re-learn the piano. The Tenor Horn is a different story. Well it used to be. I can play that, it's my instrument and I'm good. Many people play it as a poor second to a cornet, there are too many cornets in the band already, or they can't reach the top notes so get "downgraded". Not me, I love the tenor horn. I did start on the cornet, as most learners do, and yes I struggled with the high notes. But when I moved to the tenor horn I fell in love. It's my favourite instrument in the world and it even looks good. It's less pushy than the cornet, it's not there at the front saying look at me look at me. But it's there, it's sound is there in the very centre of the band, and quite often with lovely haunting solos just coming out of nowhere. I just hope I can still play after all this time. I sat in the living room last night with my fingers in the air and seemed to remember the fingering of all the notes, just like riding a bike, so fingers crossed.

I still can't dance, and really I think that's on a back-burner. Not everyone dances, some people prefer to be on the sides with the music. Maybe that's part of who I am, and do I really need to change that? I'm not sure.

My  friends I am talking to more. And some old friends I am definitely talking to more. And some even older friends I am talking about important things with, sharing and overcoming past issues. You can't get any more real than that. I have lost a friend or two, but the ties with others have become stronger. And that is what counts. One of my friend's mums said to me, you can't stay friends with everyone you have to do what's best for you, as long as you don't go around purposefully hurting people then that's all you can do.

I haven't been looking on the bright side. My blogs have been rather dark, and I've been slipping, I know that. But this is start-over day. This is the bright side peeking out and making itself known again.

I am laughing more. I laugh with James, mainly. He just can't help himself. I laugh at work, and I laugh with the children, and I laugh with friends. Lightening up is the order of the day.

My house is getting there. I have let it slip slightly in the past week or two but it was tidy enough for me to do that without it causing absolute chaos. I am aiming for Christmas, by Christmas it will be beautiful. This Christmas IS going to be a good one, I know it, and will make it so.

Organising my photos and making memory books and finishing Isaac's birth sampler have all been on a back-burner. I needed to get my head together first, and learn how to relax and let myself have me time again. I seem to never sit down, sit still, or just be. Hopefully I am getting to a place where I can start doing that again, and then, when I am there, they can be brought to the fore once again.

Eating properly and toning up have been a challenge. I was eating properly but then with everything that's happened in the past couple of weeks I just kept forgetting. But I'm trying, I really am, and that is all I can do. I have James here making me food and reminding me to eat, so fingers crossed it will all work out ok. And I will get back on the Wii Fit one day, as with the photos and cross-stitch it has been waiting for me to allow time to myself first. I was going to join Zumba but I've decided it's just too far outside my comfort zone to work, and also I want to go to band practice again which is on the same night. And will definitely enhance my life far more than Zumba. I know myself better these days, and that is a definitely correct choice.

The cinema is a story in itself. I haven't been every month, and not for a while, but I have been more than I used to and I have seen films I would never have thought of seeing. I saw Thor and Captain America and actually enjoyed them, so will be going back more often and trusting in other people to choose good films. As long as there's nothing scary in them. I still always remember when an ex took me to see "Resident Evil". He knew I was terrified of zombies, and because I am a completely naive person to computer games I didn't have a clue what it was about. I couldn't sleep for weeks afterwards, even now thinking about the storyline can make me lie in the centre of the bed with my eyes wide open. So, I complained to my ex before him about this. And he told me how bad this was, how he can't believe he did that. And then, he took me to the cinema. To see 28 Days Later. REALLY?! Now I research all films thoroughly for even the slightest mention of zombies, undeadness, viruses, before getting anywhere near the cinema building. I am open to different genres, but NOT THOSE!!!

So now I am going, as I have a 2 year old yelling at me from the living room for "BEEEBIES MAMA MORE BEEEBIES!!!" And we need to get dressed and get to the army. But I'll leave you with this final bit of wisdom..................

"Make New Friends And Keep The Old, One Is Silver The Other Gold"

I can't sleep. I had chinese takeaway food. I forgot this makes me not sleep. So I got up to drink lots of juice in the hope of rehydrating my body and possibly getting a couple of hours sleep before I need to get up again. This week I decided, as I don't have my children, to get ever so slightly involved in MAD week at Shipley Salvation Army, where I have started attending again. MAD = Make A Difference. They do lots of things in the community, and a kids club and cafe at the hall, and basically just try and make a difference I guess. And what I have written there will not do it justice at all, they've been doing it 6 years and do shedloads, but I'm no expert on the matter so can't really give you any more details without possibly getting something wrong. I think they try to show people that church doesn't just mean "at church", it can be out there in 'real life' too, or even better it can become 'real life'. I am tentatively getting involved, quite often when I am there on Sundays I feel like an untamed foal, ready to bolt at a moments notice. I think they may have noticed this, they are also quite tentative with me. I *want* to become involved, I really do. But then, I also have this issue with getting too attached to things, to people, to communities, to letting my walls down and then something happens and they have to be rebuilt all over again, but with more broken bricks than the last time. And then it's too late I've come to rely on that support, that friendship, that community, and well.... I struggle without it. So yes, I'm reluctant to get too attached, but maybe I'll overcome that, we'll see. James is happy for me to go. He's not religious in the slightest, but he's also not against it, and he quite likes the supportive community aspect of it. So that is a good thing. I'm not over sure the kid's dad is that pleased with them going, but he hasn't openly opposed it. And I think children need somewhere to belong. When I was a child, I needed somewhere to belong. Plus, Adam decided to believe in Jesus all by himself from when he was little, so who can argue with that one?

So, today, at the Army, the band played People Need The Lord. And all I could think of, was Emma Richardson (now Emma Jones), stood at the front of Music School end of week show (which wasn't called music school anymore at that point, but that was the colloquial term so let's just go with that :p). Singing the solo, People Need The Lord. And all I could think of was, I'd really like to get back in touch with her. When I say "back in touch", she is on my facebook. But, well, as much as I try to keep it trimmed to people I either talk to a lot or know well in real life or just quite simply care about, that doesn't mean I actually talk to everybody on there frequently. I'd put Emma in the "just quite simply care about" category. Which means I haven't talked to her in ages. I even just had to look on her facebook to see where she lived, because I couldn't quite remember. And it says she lives in London, which I genuinely didn't know, and now feel rather bad. When I say I haven't talked to her in ages, she sent me a lovely message when Isaac passed away last year xx. Emma, if you're reading this, it would be nice to have a talk sometime soon xxxx.

The song, in my head, is always an instrumental piece. Because whenever I hear anybody else sing it, it never sounds as good as that night, in that atmosphere. It took me a long time on YouTube to find a decent version of it, they were either shaky camera work or harsh trumpet tones - being from the Salvation Army background, you really learn to appreciate the cornet as the better alternative ;) If you want to know the lyrics, I believe they're pretty easy to find on google. I'm not putting them on here, because well, for me this song isn't about that. And also, I don't want anybody to accuse this blog of being 'preachy', because, well, it's not. I am far from perfect, as is everybody else in this world, and certainly no better than anybody else, in fact probably quite a lot worse than some others in many people's eyes.

From me, good night (or good morning), I am going to attempt 2 hours sleep xxx.

Crazy little people ;)

Today has been a crazy day, a busy day, a fun day. A walk to Shipley for Lego minifigures and fruit, and a walk home with two full bags of shopping. For some reason, as the children are going to stay at their Dad's tomorrow for a week, I ended up buying a load of food for them. Hmm, strange that.
So, the morning started off with Jessica "stealing" Adam's chair, and pouring her cereal all over the floor. Then I banged my head on the door and got told to "shurrup" by Jessica for saying ouch. Other events throughout the day included me cutting the knuckle of my finger open, gaining a new (to me) table and 4 chairs less than 12 hours after wishing out loud on facebook for them, and a rather stressful 2 levels of Lego Star Wars III on the Wii. Which has led to the new rule of the house - only one level per day. Adam has taught Jessica to say "fine", as in Me - "Please go tidy your bedroom before bedtime". Adam - "Fine!", followed by Jessica - "Fine!" up the stairs they went. Jessica decided to stand in the wastepaper bin, according to Adam this was because she wanted to throw herself away after she hurt him. According to Jessica it was because she was stuck and needed chocolate. We compromised and they had strawberries and milk for supper - mainly because that was what Jessica raided out of my fridge. I need a higher fridge. But I immensely love my new table. It has already been eaten off and play-doughed and drawn on and sat at with a coffee, and the chairs have already been argued over 3 times :D Believe it or not, since I moved out 10 years ago, this is the first time I've had a proper table and 4 chairs. Previous ones have either been fold-up jobbies or small patio sets. It makes me feel settled to have a proper table.

Today has been rather eventful. I'm pretty tired. But good tired. I haven't a clue what I'm going to do with myself for the next week. I was supposed to be sorting all my house out, but I've done quite a lot of it these last two days as Adam decided he wanted to "help" me do it. This "help" mainly consisted of him putting all his toys on a high shelf, and then playing Lego Star Wars whilst Jessica tried to climb up to get them all. He likes having a little sister. He doesn't have to get rid of anything, everything that is too small (or that his friends will say is too small) he just "gives" to Jessica. He puts it on one of her shelves, and then just plays with it whenever he wants. Magic.

I needed to write this, because it's been one of those days where so much happened, but all normal every day family stuff, that it all needs to come out, and also it's good, that despite the fact it's been a crazy mad day and I got hurt and Jessica is going through a spurt of hurting Adam, it's actually been a really good day. It's been a laughing and bonding and making a home kind of a day.

If you're free next week, say hi, because I won't have any crazy little people to talk to.

A steep learning curve........

This Year Of Adventures, being true to myself, standing up for what I believe in and being honest, is throwing up some interesting things. Some sad, some good, some interesting.
I have learnt that I really detest discrimination of any kind and judgemental people too I can quite happily live without. Believe it or not, I have actually lost friends this week for NOT being racist, homophobic or 'class-ist'.  What a crazy world we live in.
This week, I am feeling quite angry. Unlike many of you, not about the riots. I am sad about the riots. Yes, I am annoyed with the people that have done it, and no I don't think their life experiences, whatever they may be, are an excuse for what they have done. But mainly, I am sad that they happened, sad for the people who have lost their lives and businesses and jobs, sad for the families of the metropolitan police in London who had to sit home with their children during the riots just waiting for their partner to come home, hoping nothing happened to them.
My anger, is reserved for two separate things.
The first thing, is anger for the reaction of many people to the riots. The fact that people can say, without thinking anything of it, that "it was the blacks", "it was the asians", "it was the benefit scum", "it's because they weren't smacked as kids", "it's because they came from broken homes". WHAT?? Anything to distance themselves from it, pretend that nobody that they could vaguely be connected with would have anything to do with it. It was individuals who rioted, not one specific group of people. It was people from many walks of life and all different areas of the country. By blaming specific groups, all that happens is the country becomes more divided, is that really helpful? I am just so angry that people can turn against each other so quickly. There are so many areas of my life, that I don't publicise, for fear of judgement. I don't keep them secret as such, but I also don't openly talk about them. Why? Because I am worried about being judged. But people need to realise that things are not mutually exclusive. For goodness sake, living on a council estate doesn't mean you are thick, and living in a 4 bed semi-detached doesn't mean you are clever. Being a single parent  with children to two different fathers doesn't mean you wasted your life or had more than a handful of boyfriends, and having 4 children to one man doesn't mean you didn't sleep with 100 men when you were younger. I am sick to the back teeth of people thinking they are better or worse than others, and generalising about people's situations. The people who rioted were wrong. It doesn't matter where they are from or their background or their reasons, they should not have done it. End of.

The other reason I am angry? Well, that's more personal. Yesterday, was the first birthday of my angel nephew Isaac Edward Mundford. And I have been mentioning it on facebook the last couple of days and also other times in the past few weeks. And one of my close friends, who is on holiday, remembered last week before she went and gave me a hug. One of my close friends yesterday sent me a text and wishes. All of the people on facebook, who copied my status, or commented, or posted on my wall, or simply "liked" my status because they didn't know what to say, or text me because they wanted it to be private, well they are people that I like, and care about, and am friends with, and some I thought of as quite close friends, others I have only just got back in contact with or don't know too well but do like. But do you know what? The people that I (up until now at least) considered my closest friends, the ones that I try to be there for and spend time with and are first on my mind when checking how people are or planning a night out or a night in or just a christmas present list. Only 2 of those people gave me any thought at all. One, before she went on holiday, and one text me even though he is extremely busy and we haven't really talked much for a month and he's not on facebook that often. From the other people, nothing. And yes, I'm aware that posting this is going to mean I get a backlash. About how busy they are and how I didn't remind them and all the times I have missed things and how they are going through a hard time at the moment. But, do you know what, I can take it. Because friendships need to evolve, and if I have missed things and they are going through a hard time and I didn't know or say anything to help, then we're both at fault and I need to know in order for the friendship to continue. And because, true friends, can take criticism, can say "I'm really sorry I didn't say anything and I'm sorry I wasn't there and why don't I come down for a cuppa and we'll catch-up and start over". And because I am so full of all these feelings this week that I have to get them out, and if people take it the wrong way and stop talking to me because of it, then that's their loss.

This is not really a positive post. But it's not really negative either. It is good, that I am learning more about myself, being able to be true to myself, not sitting back and thinking that unsupportive friendships are the only kind I deserve because I'm not good enough for the other kind. And also, it's helped me see more clearly who are my true friends, who out of the people I've recently met or re-connected with or met through forums, actually should be in my "REAL friends" list, should be nurtured and more effort be made with on my part. And that is a valuable lesson to learn.

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Others Do Unto You

So I'm rather thoughtful at the moment. I kind of lost June, and that's ok. Sometimes it's better to just skip something than put pressure on yourself to do everything and anything. I'm tired as it is with keeping up at home and work, without putting silly pressure on myself to make up for a missing month on here. June 2011 will be forever the missing month. A month of moving and working and sports days and sun, of park visits and allergy meds and cocktails in Leeds and first time chilli making. There's a glimpse for you ;) I'm not skipping it because it was bad (it wasn't), so it's allowed :) You never know, the odd June photo might turn up every so often just to tantalise you!

So, back to the thoughtfulness. I have a lot of friends and family at the moment who are going through hard times. Obviously their own privacy is foremost here and it is not my place to divulge secrets, but I just wish, wish, I could take all their pain away. Money doesn't solve everything, but if I won the lottery I don't think I would have much of it left by the time I sorted myself out and helped everybody I would want to. But that would be fine with me, who needs money sitting in a bank account anyway.
I do think, that people need to think more. It is important to be honest, but that still can be done with tact. It is important to have your own opinions and not just run with the crowd, but that can still include being open minded. And, this quote has sprung to mind many a time this month:

"First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out--
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out--
because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out--
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me--
and there was no one left to speak out for me."
Niemoller

It doesn't matter if somebody is "different" to you (though what is different anyway?), everybody is people, and everybody deserves the chance to live and be treated with decency. On another note, whilst searching on youtube for videos relating to this quote, I came across real life Holocaust deniers. Wow, I didn't know they actually really existed in such a way as to be putting their views on youtube, I honestly can't believe that in this day and age people can STILL believe that it was all made up.

So, I found this:

I hope, one day, if I ever need to be spoken up for, that there will be somebody left to speak for me, as I have done for many others. I used to be prefer to be neutral (or Switzerland as somebody once put it), but now, now I prefer to be Me.

Oh, and talking of speaking out for people, this month, and next (and quite probably quite a few months after to be fair), are pretty tough months for my sister and her boyfriend, Katy and Justin, who became Mummy and Daddy to my gorgeous little nephew Isaac Edward Munford on August 10th 2010. Unfortunately we were only to have 2 weeks and 6 days with him before he was called up to Heaven.

Now, here is a picture of Isaac:

And here is a picture of his resting place, taken on the Royal Wedding Day:

My sister would love to be able to give him a headstone, and is currently raising money selling Mini Cakes to save up for this. If you would like to help, please take a look at Isaac Inspirations. All money raised from Mini Cakes goes to Isaac's Headstone Fund, all money raised from other items goes to the NeoNatal Unit at Leeds General Infirmary where Isaac was looked after by lovely nurses and doctors xx. I can testify that the Mini Cakes are extremely yummy :D

Now I am off to find other ways to help all the people that I care about that are having rough times xxx.

This song is stuck in my head at the moment. Whenever you see somebody suffering, think "There but for the Grace of God go I", and see what you can do to help.

A Flower Can't Be Beautiful Without A Little Rain

I have come to the decision, that I am actually quite please about moving house. It has come at a good time. The house I am in now, was perfect at the time. But it's like I have been in hibernation, a cocoon, and now it is time to step out. I needed somewhere to recover, rebuild, and start over. But now it's time to truly start over, and my new house is perfect for that. It is still near enough my mum's and school so as to keep my life uncomplicated. But it is also nearer many of my friends, or at least on an easier route of access. It is on the same street as Adam's best friend. It is next to a great park and nearer to the canal and Roberts Park, for more chilled out summer days. I can wander into Saltaire on the weekends and pick up my shopping, and have a potter around the shops. Those are my kind of shops, small and interesting and personal. The house, is more my kind of house. The room is cosy and snug, and the kitchen is big enough for a decent size family table for us to eat, and make, and work, and basically live on! The garden is an exploring garden, yet still secure and with flat areas for seating and play. The landlord seems to be lovely and actually gets things done. I am getting quite excited, it's a whole new way of life and is totally fitting for the place my life is at right now.
It is important, to look at things in a positive light. I was devastated about moving at first, but now I can see that it is actually opening up many new doors and opportunities. I have always wanted Adam to have somebody he could run out the door and go play with, and now he has. I have always wanted to be able to have a decent size kitchen with space for a proper table, and now I have. I have always wanted to be near somewhere with interesting and useful little shops and nice cafes, and now I will be.
These past few weeks have been a struggle that I had to get through, and now I feel ready and able to truly move on. I know what true happiness really is. It is being loved and accepted for who you really are. And I am at my new job, I am at the Salvation Army, I am by my lovely supportive friends who live local, I am by my lovely supportive BC friends who are spread far and wide, I am by my family, and I am especially by James. Right now, I am living my real life, the life of me, Dawn Martin. It is not all sweetness and light, there are dark patches and many grey times. But it is real and true and that is what matters.

"I could sing you a tune and promise you the moon, but if that's what it takes to hold you then I'd just as soon as let you go" - Love me for me, or don't even bother.

This song, is real. Life is not always that great, and I am not one of those people who can be all sunny and light all the time, and find the bright side in everything. I try, but sometimes I think it's inappropriate to find a bright side. Sometimes there isn't a bright side. And sometimes those people can be kind of irritating, they make you feel rubbish for not always being so happy and jolly about everything. A good quote going around facebook is "You should never apologise for how you feel, it's like saying sorry for being real".
But, if you accept me for who I am, then yes, we can enjoy the good times when they happen, and make the bad times bearable and struggle through them together. Life is never going to be all rose gardens and sugar sprinkles, but it's the only life we get, and sitting around complaining about the hand we've been dealt is never going to change anything.
Being yourself and being completely honest and pretty much baring your soul is pretty scary. But it sure as anything feels good to know that somebody knows every single little thing about you and is still around. It's a scary thing to do and it can mean some friendships don't make it. But the ones that do, they are real, and when you feel so incredibly secure in your friendships and your relationships, that, is when you can be really happy with your life, whatever it throws at you next.

And these, are my two little superheroes, defending their right to be eccentric little character-full people x.

Sometimes it's Clever to Change Your Mind

Sometimes, if you back out of things, people think you are being cowardly, not stepping up, and generally it is classed as a negative thing to do. But recently, I have been rethinking this. Surely, it is braver to say "hey, that wasn't a good idea after all", and change your mind, than to stupidly go ahead with it anyway despite your doubts, just because you don't want to lose face.
I must confess I have had a rather tough couple of weeks. But I know the cause, and I'm working on the solutions, and I just have to hang in there. I have lots of great support from family and friends and my boyfriend (which still, even now, is weird to say as it just sounds so, well, teenagerish lol!!). Fingers crossed moving in two weeks will help quite a lot. Wow, two weeks, I've only packed up my bedroom. Hmmm. Anybody free to shift boxes on Thursday 3rd June is most welcome lol!!
I have been absent from here, and slightly from facebook, and even more so from texting and phoning people recently. I have been going inside myself rather a lot, hiding from public view, trying to figure things out. It isn't really a good idea and doesn't tend to work as I am more of a people person and need to feel busy and happy to be motivated. But still, I insist on doing it every time I feel like this. Not very clever, again, an instance where changing direction would be the better thing to do. I think, I need to reach out a bit more. Hmmmm, I have an idea, ooohh project alert :D If I have your address, watch out ;)
Tonight, all I need to do is wash up, pack bags + lunches for tomorrow, have a shower, and go to bed. I can't seem to do any of that, but I know that if I don't tomorrow morning will be ten times harder than it will be if I do. And I am buoyed by the fact that I have excellent yet calm plans for this weekend (well, from Thursday onwards in fact), involving James Coleman, Deborah Manktelow, and all day Saturday at home to relax and do some packing. So really I just have to do those jobs tonight and all will be well. I WILL do them, I CAN do them, and that is a fact.
So, on the subject of backing out of things, I think I am going to not go to Kendal Calling in July. I love the idea, but I think that next year may be a better time to go. When Jessica will be 3 and slightly less tantrum-headed, when I may be able to find somebody else to go with, and when we've had some more practical experiences of camping. Strictly speaking, my yearly goal states "Go see live music". It doesn't mention festivals. And even though I would love to take the children to a festival, there is always next year, they may be growing up too fast for my liking but they're not going anywhere "just" yet lol!
So I'm going to look into the idea of maybe a couple of days camping in the summer, and maybe going to a theme park with them or something, I don't really know, I have quite a lot of freedom to figure these things out so I'm sure something will come up. And I think it's the right decision, really. And I think that it also helps pay for the Blackberry that I just bought to replace the cheap Nokia that I just dropped in the bath :p

Just To Be Is The Best Of Times

This is how I feel right now. Sat at my laptop, coffee in hand, sun streaming in through the window, reading all Jessica's birthday messages and waiting for my sis to arrive.

I can't really explain it. I just feel at peace, at one, and happy. I feel settled, even though I am moving house in 5 weeks I no longer feel stressed. My house is tidy, my kitchen is covered in food which is what a kitchen is meant to look like in my family the day before a party. We have a habit of not being able to under-cater. I am going out today with my sis and her fella to look at tents and camping things, and buy charcoal and garden toys, and I feel like this is what my life is supposed to be like. No pretence, no being somebody I am not. Unfussed and fun and lots of good times with friends and family, an open house to the kid next door, and far too many people squeezed in my tiny kitchen. Tonight I am cinema bound with James and a couple of his friends (eek!), tomorrow we are Army-bound and then it's a fab afternoon in the garden (fingers cross for the good weather!) with lots of great people, and next week we are all back to work and school but Adam loves school and my work is fab and Jessica is coming with me, and then I have a joint birthday meal next week for two of my closest friends who are totally brilliant people and have given me lots of support in the past months despite all their own problems and busy lives.
Have faith, jump off into the blue. The waters are fine.

"You Just Call, Out My Name...."

We often take friends for granted. But just the smallest thing, can let people know we value them. Reminding them of a fond memory, a photo, sending a "surprise hug" text, remembering they had an appointment that morning. I have a lot of friends. I love them all, in different ways. And in the past few months, have found out, often surprisingly, who I can lean on with no strings attached. I can't mention people by name, because I tried, and there are too many, and I don't want to miss anybody out.
Memories are an amazing thing, they bolster us through the toughest times. Sitting here, I can see a sleeve of my upper school jumper sticking out of my memory box. And I can remember all the stuff wrote on there, and those mad last days with everybody running around with pens. I can see my photo board with random friend pictures on, quite a few from Christmas Eves in the Ring O Bells, a couple from Sam's birthdays in London, one from Morecambe, one from Bingley, and lots of empty spaces waiting to be filled. In my memory boxes, are photos of random parties at my flat, all blurring into one event although from the clothes there were at least 2 and I'm pretty sure there were others. Random words bring up random memories. Wands and tiaras and pink cowboy hats from hen parties long gone (marriages still intact too :D), and notebooks full of scribbles.
When I move into my new house, I really am going to sort all those boxes out, and make a memory book (and box for the larger things), that I can flick through on those days when I need a boost. And when we're having a girly wine night in. And when I'm old and decrepit and my children say "mum, you don't have a clue what it's LIKE to be me" I can show them it too.
I think, I might need some help from friends in the next couple of months. Moving house again is quite possibly not what I needed right now. But, I know, from last time, that if I ring people and ask, they will really come and really help. And if anybody needs anybody help from me, they know where to come, this door is always open. I don't know if it's being from a big family, or from being brought up by all the different people in the Salvation Army, or from being looked after by all different people in the school holidays whilst my parents worked, or just from human nature. But whatever it is, I'm at my happiest and best when surrounded by my friends. Hopefully this Sunday will be a good weather day, and my house and garden will be full of the people that I love being with, and we can all have smiles on our faces :)

Looking back on March....

Ah.....looking at my March list I have been rather neglectful. I really didn't do much. I did notice the snowdrops in February though, so could excuse myself that one. Couldn't help noticing them, every 2 minutes in the car in Scotland my mum would be "kids, snowdrops, left hand window, LOOK" and although I am no longer a kid, I am still her child, and definitely felt compelled to do as I was told :D
I didn't say "white rabbits" and I haven't exactly spring-cleaned, but then maybe I have spring-cleaned my head a little, so that would count. Baby animals, smaby animals, my own kids are cute enough. Pancakes I did do, just with 2 people, and that was a quiet yet good evening. I have not left any pennies, but strangely enough did find one myself in bed on Friday morning....hmmm hope nobody has been reading my diary......well, since I put it publicly on the internet then I suppose I can't really complain :p
The supporting a team idea baffled me. For one month, is that truly supporting? I support my friends, that's enough.

I jumped though, oh yes I jumped! I jumped in the playground having races with a 2 yr old on a space hopper, and I jumped up and down and then stopped and started again on the requests of 3 year olds - simple pleasures. I jumped up and down to shake my holdall and try and get it to fasten to take to Edinburgh, and I jumped up and down trying to fasten the zip on the back of my dress last night. I jumped around my living room whilst dancing to various songs, including "Born This Way", "Do You Love Me", "Pearl" (well maybe not exactly dancing to this one....), "Strong Enough", "Goodbye To You" (The Veronicas's - ace but very peppy song lol!), "F***in Perfect", and obviously "Firework"... hmmmmmmm it's been a fun month!

Still couldn't dance last night. Well, I kind of attempted it more than I have done previously, but I was just too self-conscious, plus it didn't help that the guy I was dancing with was nice and funny but, well, let's not go there but it just wasn't what I was wanting really last night. And the people I was out with, they are really good dancers, and really confident at it, I wish I was like that. But hey, you can't have everything, and apparently I looked really nice so that's good right :D
I think, this morning, I have decided I am going through a Katy Perry time. Her songs are rather girly, which quite possibly explains the girl brain I was exhibiting on Thursday night causing me to be picked on lol. But ah, be fine, it's just a phase I'm sure.
Anyway, to get back on track. I haven't alphabetised anything, except perhaps when I'm trying to find a track on Spotify and I sort alphabetically by album, that counts right?
I didn't send zillions of postcards and letters, but I have a stack of envelopes next to me to be posted shortly, so I'm sure that makes up for it :D And I did accept lots of invites, and lots of good things came out of those so I'd say it's definitely worth doing.
I went to Edinburgh, and had a completely fabulous time, and will be going back with the children at some point as I'm pretty sure Adam will love it there.
Last but not least - Be lovely - that one was easy, obviously, I am sooooo naturally lovely ;P
Although, now I feel guilty, have just been text by a friend that the guy from last night was asking where I was later on (although I did tell him I was going home so.....). Is it just me, or does anybody else feel guilty when a guy spends time with you on a night out and you don't want anything, like you feel bad that they've spent time talking to you when they could've spent that time finding a girl who did want something to happen with them? Maybe it's just me, whatever! I should've been Catholic, constant guilt lol! He did tell me he had a good Catholic name too, coincidentally, uhhmm Christopher Michael something or other (I've forgot the surname, which was probably the most Catholic bit, oops!) And I was lovely, and gave him a very innocent tiny kiss as I left, so that he didn't feel totally short-changed. Be fine, sure he'll find somebody more forthcoming tonight when he goes back out :D
Sooooo, here is the month in pictures :D

Pancakes!!

Jessica wanting to help cook.........so she can steal fruit........

The infamous Piranha Plant Poisoning Pasta

 Deliciously gorgeous and more-ish home-made pizza yum!!

 Jessica wants to drink from a big girl cup.......and is therefore trapped in the kitchen....

This month me and Adam have mostly been reading.....

The reason I don't need to go out looking for cute baby animals xx.

Fab times in Edinburgh with totally great yummy mummies :D

Two random strangers that were staying in our apartment building :D

The legend that is Lyndsey - she organised the whole thing so was entitled to be knackered!

Posh food...... 

Posh cocktails..... 

 Posh puds....

 .....and Beautiful Ladies :D

I may have been neglectful this month, but that's because I have been busy with the more important, yearly aim, of laughing more. This month has been a good month, and I have laughed a lot, and met lots of really great people. And......I have managed, in the end, to keep my secret goal, possibly with the help of reent events but hey who cares why, it's done and dusted and that's all that matters!!! Roll on April..........:D



"You're Original....Cannot Be Replaced"

It is the start of a new month!!! But, I have been ill most of the week and had to have 3 days off work (which everybody who knows me knows I hate to do so that is how ill I was). So, tomorrow I will do a catch-up on last month and the aims for this month etc.

But, I have to say, that the week has ended good, and this next month looks like it should be a good one if the start of it is anything to go by :) Last night, I was feeling better and decided to spend time with some friends before my day back at work. And, in their own ways, they all made me feel happy with who I am and how my life is going. And tonight, I am going out, in the dress I wore in Edinburgh wow!! When I wore it  in Edinburgh, I was with people who haven't known me all my life, people who I don't see every week, and it was highly unlikely I would bump into anybody I knew. To wear it in Bingley, for me, is a big leap of faith, and hopefully my confidence will stand up to the challenge :) Also, hopefully, I won't fall over and flash my knickers at everybody ;p
I also have just been asked for ID in the co-op, which was rather funny, especially as I had none on me due to not driving, but my look of disbelief and laughing that I was 28 seemed to do trick instead lol. Apparently, I look 24 tonight, and that is under the Ask 25 rule. Hmm. I'll take it with a pinch of salt ;p
Anyways, let's have a group listen to my favourite song to boost my confidence tonight :D

Take it or leave it.

I am a bit wound up right now and shouldn't really be blogging as I might type the wrong things. But hey, I'll attempt it anyway :D
Adam has been doing some ace Star Wars impressions for me tonight, the C3P0 one is soooo good I even knew who it was without him saying!!! So that has cheered me up. And I DID think Jessica had been cute and fallen asleep on her cat book, until I realised a real cat had sneaked in my door and was asleep on my bed grrrrrrr. Now I have to change my bed, how wonderful :s
So, this weekend I had a totally fantabulous time on the BC April 09 NAG weekend in April!! And I find myself, when explaining this to people, worrying what they think too much. Yes, I did spend a weekend with people I have never met before!! Well, I had met four of them last year, at the first NAG in Manchester. But last year, I spent a night with people I had never met before lol!! But the thing is, I have talked to them so much that I feel like I know them so well, sometimes better than people I have met, and they know everything and they are lovely and so friendly and unjudgemental and they know what it's like to have a toddler the same age as Jessica and they were there when I had to stop breastfeeding, and when I was deciding about cloth, and when she was ill, and when Adam was ill, and when she has tantrums, and when my relationship ended, and when my nephew passed away, and these people are so supportive and I do know them, they are not strangers. I had an amazing time, because these people, they just know me as I am, and that makes me feel confident to just be me. A compliment that I have great legs, means a lot, because they don't have to say that - they don't have to ever see me again if they don't want. They mean it. And some of the girls from last year, commented on how much more I was smiling this year. And I just felt happy, and it was fun, and wow the food was amazing!! Because obviously, the food is the most important part of a weekend away ;p And the cocktails :D
I'm 28, and I have nice hair, and great legs (when covered!), and my facebook statuses are funny, and my kids are cute, and my blog is interesting, and I love my job, and I'm brave enough to meet people I've never met in a city I've never been to, and I know what swiss chard is, and I have a bad habit of frequently buying new underwear, and I like to sleep out at my friends house when I don't have the kids because they're great company, and I don't have to get up so early in the morning for work, and I am happier this year, and I need to buy an espresso machine because I've become addicted, and I can wear short dresses and they look amazing and not trashy, and I deserve to buy myself new things when I want to and can afford it, and I have the right to have a fun good weekend away, and I am moving on, and I might meet somebody else at some point because I have the right to without being judged and without it making the past 7 years meaningless.
That's me.

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Tommorow, I am going to the funeral of somebody who can only be described as "One of God's Better People" - thank you Mr Robbie Williams for that one.
These two ladies, did more for more people than anybody else I know. And they did more for my family than anybody will ever know. I remember them as always being in my life, since I was tiny. They gave us clothes out of their jumble, and books, always lots of books. I credit Myra for my love of reading books she used to always give me ones that used to be her favourite when she was little. And I remember the time we were at a Salvation Army do, I must have been about 7 or something, and somebody told me my dress was beautiful, and I said in a loud voice "It's from Myra and Margaret's jumble sale" Hahaha my mum nearly died of embarrassment.
There used to be about 20 kids in their little flat on Thorpedge every Sunday, perched on chairs and tables and tops of chest of drawers, singing songs and listening to stories about Jesus.

"If I were a butterfly, I’d thank you Lord for giving me wings
If I were a robin in a tree, I’d thank you Lord that I could sing
If I were a fish in the sea, I’d wiggle my tail and I’d giggle with glee
But I just thank you Father for making me, me
 

For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
And I just thank you Father for making me, me

If I were an elephant, I’d thank you Lord by raising my trunk
If I were a kangaroo, You know I’d hop right up to you
If I were an octupus, I’d thank you Lord for my fine looks

But I just thank you Father for making me, me

For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
And I just thank you Father for making me, me

If I were a wiggly worm, I’d thank you Lord that I could squirm
If I were a fuzzy wuzzy bear, I’d thank you Lord for my fuzzy, wuzzy hair
If I were a crocodile,  I’d thank you Lord for my great smile

But I just thank you Father for making me, me

For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
And I just thank you Father for making me, me "

And then we'd get split up into age groups for lessons and we'd learn all about Bible stories and do activities - all in their living room and bedroom and kitchen. They gave up their house to us, and gave us all biscuits. A lot of kids started coming just for the free biscuits, but they stayed coming for the lessons.

When I couldn't get in a decent school, these ladies looked after me for a month until my mum managed to get me in one. We used to haul the jumble to the wall by York House and spread it out and sell it to everyone. They used to tell me how much to charge people for it, but they always sold it cheaper than that. They gave me my first job in the post office at Christmas, helping sort out the toys for the Christmas club they had set up to help people save up for things gradually for Christmas. They used to come and help look after our house when my dad worked away and my mum was working too and there were us 4 kids to look after - I used to tidy my bedroom before they came otherwise I would get in trouble for not helping look after my mum, and then Myra and Margaret would come down and say "Dawn Martin I don't know how you sleep at night your bed is full of teddies" haha.

My sister used to live with them for a bit whilst she was doing her exams and she says if it wasn't for them she wouldn't be where she is now. Myra used to say, "My mum gave me a cup of tea after school and I sat down and did my homework then and there, and you'll do the same and you'll make something of your life".

I feel, like I've let them down. When Adam was a toddler I took him to see them, I promised that I would come to see them often and that he wouldn't become all grown-up without them knowing. But I didn't, and now he's 7, and I have Jessica who is nearly 2 and they've not even met her. And now it's too late, Margaret is gone. But I'm not going to let them down, I am going to make something of my life. They gave me so much, they gave me values and they gave me opportunities and they gave me work ethics. And I'll not let them down, I'll bring my children up right, and I'll take them to see Myra, and I'll carry on studying and I'll make something of my life.

Tomorrow, I will be remembering all of the wonderful things Margaret and Myra did, and I'll be saying goodbye to Margaret. But she will never be gone, she will live on in the hearts of all those children in Thorpedge, and all the people she helped to cloth, and the people at the Salvation Army that she was there for. And i will tell my children about her, and tell them that helping people, is what everybody should do. And, I'll tell them what Margaret always used to say - "Cold Hands, Warm Heart". And she'll be watching, and she'll be proud of me.

Space Hoppers Are Cool

I love my new job!!! I sooooo love my new job!!! It is the bestest nursery I have ever seen or heard of or worked in or anything!!! Sorry, had to get that out of my system :D
So, this month is going good so far. It's only the 2nd of March, but hey, let's be optimistic!
So, I am thinking of the penny thing. Now, I know, that the most excited people in the world to find lost pennies, are small children. Adam loves to find pennies and stash them in his moneybox. So I could leave pennies in the school playground. However, I imagine the teachers wouldn't be too impressed. From experience, it is amazing how much disruption one found penny can cause to a class of under 8s. So I think it is best to simply leave pennies in my garden for Adam to find. And Jessica, of course. Miss "I demand to be included and I will also get out of bed and get a book to read because Adam is doing" - yes that's right I can hear the patter of toddler feet above my head little monkey!!
I have done lots of jumping in the last 2 days. As it is absolutely freezing, so I have been having jumping races with the children at my new setting. But they have cool space hoppers and I don't :(
Ah, so the Spring Clean. Which may appear random, but it is linked to the Space Hoppers. My house is pretty well organised and clean, so I will be spring cleaning my garden and sheds. I am pretty sure Adam has a giant space hopper he got for Christmas, so we may be having a bash on that soon, would be worth a pic on here :D Oooh, if I buy another we could have giant space hopper races at my housewarming/Jessica's birthday bash :D
I am doing absolutely brilliantly well with my secret goal, although I wasn't supposed to be starting it until Tuesday, but something came up that kind of led to it semi-starting already, so yes, it is good.

This is a boring blog today, because it is just about how wonderful I am and how lots of good things are happening hehehe.
But, there is a lesson to be learned here. Things are only going well, because I sat up and told myself they were going to. I didn't set myself ridiculous heights to reach or unachievable goals. One step at a time. I'm pretty certain that I will be due a bad day soon, and things won't be great. But I have made lots of new friends recently, and re-connected with some old ones, and I know that I will make it through anything, with more knowledge of myself and the tools I need to make life happen. I am even thinking of attempting to get over my great zombie phobia :s
Now I am off to fish all the books out of the duvet covers and then have a TV catch-up because I am so damn organised that my house is clean and our lunches packed for tomorrow already :D

If you need help, ASK for it, and listen to THE song:
What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Joe Cocker

A Month's Worth of Memories........

It is the 28th of February!!! The end of the month, the start of new beginnnings. And how funny is it, that in my new job, this term's focus is on "New Beginnings". How cool a coincidence is that, totally meant to be :D
My new job is fab, yes it is a trek but other than that it is great. The staff are friendly and it is well organised but laid back and relaxed and I really love it and am looking forward to working there.
So so so, it's time to think back on the month.
From my yearly list, I have made some excellent progress! I have booked the children on some adventures with me for later in the year, namely London and Kendal Calling (they still have tickets if anybody wants to adventure along with us!). I'm working on the photo, but am getting less hung up on the bad ones (as you will see below). I went to see Illuminatus with Roj, and as mentioned have booked to go to Kendal Calling. My house is getting lovelier every day, and I made some progress on Isaac's birth-sampler whilst in Scotland. I went to the cinema twice, and am going again on Wednesday. And, I have a job!!! WOOHOO!!
Now here's the fun random bit:
Start a trend - DONE - thanks to you lot reading this ;p
Watch an entire boxset in one sitting - Not done due to time restrictions, however am planning for this weekend, no need to get hung up on the delay :D
Bobble hat it up - See http://themorninggirl.blogspot.com/2011/02/story-of-not-post.html
Catch a snowflake on your tongue - The weather (which I was then blamed for, when surely it should be the fault of the author of my diary......) was on my side:

This is, admittedly, not a nice photo of me. But I am trying to get past that fact.

Get an early night - This was hard!! But I slightly managed it last night, the day before my new job. For me, 10pm is early, so there!

Take your favourite person out for cake - I made a cake, and ate it with my 2 favourite people, Jessica and Adam xx.

Send at least one Valentine's card (even better, send loads!) - I sent lovely Valentine's cards to lots of lovely people :D I then spread the love further by falling over, tipping the pram and bag up, and scattering confetti hearts all down Green Road :D

Stroke soft things (always ask permission) - This I did.

Draw on steamy windows - Me and Adam drew smiley faces on the windows in Scotland, but it wouldn't show up on the camera :(

Be lovely - This, I did. I am ALWAYS lovely ;p

All in all, it was a fab month, the first of many more to come. Here are some of the brilliant memories that were made this month:

Jessica missed her brother so she stole his pyjamas

 

 It's time for dancing!!!

 The beginning of the great teeth evacuation....... (Adam hates this photo but I'm trying to teach him the way of the wise ones in not being hung up on photos......also I think it's funny :D)

 A fun laughing night with friends

Cousins bonding in Scotland

Adventures in the Forest in Scotland

This month was a rollercoaster, there were sad times and bad times and hard times. But most importantly, there were fun times and good times and happy times and friend times and inspirational times. Apparently, it doesn't have to be bad things in our life that affect us, it can just be the lack of good things. So, if I ensure that my children have plenty of good times this will counteract the bad times. Because who can stop those happening, and truly, would we be the people we are without having persevered and struggled through those difficulties? I think not. I am a real person, and my friends are real people, and I want my children to be real people too. We live in the real world, and we must find our place within that.

 "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." Vince Lombardi

And on that note people - after sharing this link I shall be crazily dancing to "Do you love me" by The Contours - join me in this madness ;p