Standing in somebody else's shoes xxx.

When you see a parent carrying a 4 year old whilst pushing a pram with a 6 month old and holding a scooter balanced on their fingertips, instead of tutting that the 4 year old should be walking - Offer to carry the scooter, you don't know how tired the 4 year old is or how desperate the parent is to just get home.

When you see a frazzled parent counting their pennies because their toddler is demanding a drink AND chocolate, instead of commenting that they should learn to get what they're given - See if you can afford to help them buy the drink, you don't know how thirsty the toddler is and whether the chocolate was promised for walking instead of being carried or just because the parent didn't realise they had no money left and had left their bank card at home.

When you see a little girl running around with wild hair whose mother says she won't let her brush it, instead of commenting that YOUR child knows she has to do as she's told - Tell the mother it doesn't matter, it's not the end of the world, you haven't tried to get that particular child to have their hair brushed and you don't know how hard it might be.

When you see a Mama crying because their 4 year old child just plain won't budge and it's raining and their 9 year old is getting stressed and the baby is crying, instead of telling them it's their fault the children are like they are - Give the Mama a hug, give the 4 year old an incentive, tell the 9 year old they are doing a super job of looking after their baby brother, and offer to help them get home.

When somebody tells you they just can't work because their child just doesn't "do" childcare, instead of snapping that some people HAVE to make tough decisions - Believe them, not all children are the same, and they have probably worked with other children and DO know what it's like to juggle work, childcare and a house, quite possibly all by themselves without a partner, and even more likely feel guilty and like they have to justify themselves every single day.

When a Mama tells you they need some time out, a break, to feel less like a human climbing frame, instead of telling them that they should want to constantly be with their child otherwise they don't love them enough - Tell them that everybody feels that way sometimes, there's no need to feel guilty, and it's ok to need to feel un-mauled every now and again.

When you walk in a house where children live, instead of commenting on the mess - Be honest about how messy your own house is or how it would be if you had children, no cleaner, and hadn't slept in 4 years. If there is only one untidy room, do NOT focus on that one room, even jokingly.

Most of all, when you see a parent struggling, instead of judging, see what you can do to help. There are enough people in this world judging parents without us turning on each other. There is no such thing as a perfect parent - if you know you are doing it wrong, then at least you care enough to be bothered about whether or not you are doing it right........and as we tell our children, the most important thing is that you try your best, because sometimes, that just has to be good enough.

Plums From A Stranger

So, I have been very absent because we have been to DisneyLand Paris and we are moving house in TWO SLEEPS and I was ill. I am most likely going to continue being rather absent as we won't have an internet connection for a couple of weeks and I need to unpack the house and make it all lovely and "family home-ness".

Almost every night I have thought of things I could blog about, and many times I have almost picked up my phone and started writing, but stopped as I just needed sleep and I knew that if I started writing I wouldn't stop, and then as the days went by I just couldn't decide which thing to write about as so much as happened. I needed a break, and sleep. I had a virus last week which was, I think, a very mild stomach virus but my body decided that actually it was pretty tired and couldn't cope with a mild stomach virus very well so would just stop working for a couple of days and make me stay in bed. I was slightly ill Tuesday, woke up Wednesday morning feeling better, walked down the stairs and promptly passed out on the kitchen floor, giving myself a stupid burn/graze above my left eyebrow in the process. I was shipped back off to bed and the children were whisked away from me for most of the next couple of days, with the GP instructing me over the phone that bed rest and much fluids were needed so I did as I was told for once. At the weekend I ventured into Shipley with Toby and smiled at a lady at the bus stop because I had thought she was tucking into a chocolate bun then realised it was a plum and smiled at myself really for being daft. The lady then, bless her, decided that I needed her plums because I looked tired. I managed to persuade her I had lots of fruit at home (I didn't want to take the bag of plums she had just bought for herself?!) but she did insist I had one plum to eat on the way home because I had the little baby to feed and look after. I didn't tell her I had two more in case she changed her mind and tried to give me them all again! But it was a lovely gesture and the plum was very nice, and I find it refreshing when people are still just "generally nice" to each other these days, when there are so many reports in the news of negative events concerning friends and family let alone strangers. I don't want my children to be easily trusting of others, but I also don't want them to be automatically mistrustful, and scared to talk to anybody. Having a chat with a stranger at a bus stop can be an interesting 5 minutes, a break from a busy day, and can often give you another perspective on things. It is always good to have an open mind.

So, I apologise for not telling you all the interesting things that have happened this month and not sharing our amazing time in DisneyLand Paris yet. I'm sure I will get around to blogging about how Jessica's favourite spot was the Dragon's Lair and Adam's was all the caves and tunnels in Adventure Land, how amazing it was to see the looks on their faces when the light show came on and the concern Adam showed for his sister when she fell asleep just before it started and he thought she would miss it (she woke up as it started and stayed awake all the way through so no worries). One day I am bound to reminisce about Jessica having a fringe cut in her hair for the first time and, upon looking in the mirror, announcing seriously "Well I'll have to change my name now!" There was also Toby's first roll onto his side, his amazing little smiles and gurgles, the way he was a superstar on holiday despite not usually liking too many days out in a row, and his really ace new brand of cloth nappies that I absolutely love and want some more of. We have had many "made up off the top of my head to use up the contents of the kitchen" teas, all of which have been surprisingly successful and some that have made our "main go-to list" which will help with saving some money in the coming months. There will be further news of Adam's first foray into music with Cornet lessons, which apparently are going great, and he actually walked to school with a friend, with me very far behind (carrying a scooter, a Jessica, and pushing a pram with a Toby in it), and happily got there all by himself, so his confidence levels are having a surge it would seem.

But for now, I am signing off, because I have a really exciting few days ahead, with a real family home to be created and I want to focus on life, right now, as it happens. Sometimes I miss facebook and my friends on there, but the positive changes in my life I feel are worth it and I can't see myself going back anytime soon.

The Breakfast Issue

I find it hard to eat breakfast even though I love breakfast food. The problem is that I love bacon and eggs, porridge, pastries, bakes, fruit salads, yoghurts etc. I'm not over keen on cold cereal and although I love toast, I eat far too much of it. Fruit and yoghurt are easy in a morning but I don't always fancy the chopping (plain apple/banana/orange doesn't grab me) or the coldness plus the kids steal it........

So I am working on this problem, trying to get a filling yet at least slightly healthy breakfast down me without it looking too cold, costing a packet, going soggy, getting stolen or just really not getting made in the first place.

One of my successes is Slow Cooker Porridge. Made overnight so I have to eat it the next day as it's already there! I grate an apple into it to get some fruit in me, might think about adding some seeds in there too. But it does require forward planning and it is getting to summer.

So this morning I whacked the following in the blender -
1 banana
2 yoghurt tubes (peach)
handful of oats
2 heaped tsp of crunchy peanut butter
Milk - just put in enough to part cover other stuff, didn't measure

And then I drank it straight down and it was yummy! No hard work crunching fruit and didn't seem same as other cold food first thing. I could improve it's health rating by adding more fruit and getting some plain yoghurt in the fridge (just used what was there today) but overall I think we have another winner.

Need to investigate my pins for some other breakfast ideas, maybe home-made muffins could be a hit...........anybody have any other ideas??

The May List 2013

May Outside-ness Mantra

Repeat after me......
                           Hooray!

1. At last flip flop o-clock is here
    & this month of may, I will get OUT & about
    Yes: Out of my comfort zone*
    (*which is where the magic happens)

2. I will spend at least 82% of my time in nature*
    (*including at night under the stars)
    Indeed, Alfresco will be my middle name*
    (*I may even get deed poll involved to make this official)

4. I will run til my legs hurt
    & laugh til my belly aches
    & have picnics.

5. I will go to places I have never been
    & have seven kinds of adventure.

Yes, May, you will be a breath-of-fresh-air kind of month you will.

and as we now also have a "the bright side" family calendar......

May Family Magic

1. Dance around in the kitchen*
(*if your kitchen is really small develop an innovative routine using very small movements ONLY)

2. Make stripey lollipops in the freezer

3. Fill your house with flowers

4. Learn a new skill*
    (*and show it off)

5. Gaze at clouds & stars & anything that makes you look up

6. Invite round your neighbours

7. Have your first BBQ

& Always look on the Bright Side

Plus.....
8. Pack up the entire house and move AGAIN - very reminiscent of The May List 2011, however with two extra people and lots more extra stuff* (*fortunately to a much a bigger house with, hopefully, places for it all to belong!)

...and from Limbo we enter Chaos

So the last week has been rather crazy. We have been in limbo for a while now, waiting to move, waiting for Jessica's birthday, waiting for Cub Camp, waiting for Disneyland, and now suddenly they are all upon us.
Jessica had a fabulous birthday party, with much help from Julie, Rachel and my Mum. Toby happily played whilst it was all set up, wanted feeding 10 minutes before it started, sat with my Mum for the whole afternoon and wanted feeding just after it finished - perfect baby or what?? All of the children were lovely and it was a fun and thoroughly enjoyed by all afternoon. I can't post any pictures as they all have other people's children on, and I know for a fact that three of the children there can't have their pictures on the internet and wouldn't dream of putting the other children on without their parent's permission anyway. But I can share a picture of the Treasure Map Cake I did at the last minute when Jessica suddenly decided two days before her party that she would quite like one of those.

Not bad I don't think - Jessica loved it so that is all that matters :D
We had telescope making, dancing, Pirate Pete says, dancing, musical bumps, dancing, Guess where the X should go on the map, dancing, colouring sheets, dancing, pass the parcel, dancing, a crazy 5 minute "CANNONBALL FIGHT!!!" with plastic ball pool balls and side-turned tables complete with table-cloth covered legs for good old fashioned health & safety (rather than just banning it outright like all these politically correct people would have you do these days :P) and then a "WALK THE PLANK!!!" to the food tables with cannonball cheese crisps + grapes, cheese on swords, jelly boats and pirate topped buns amongst other yummy offerings. The party bags were given out simply containing chocolate coins, freaky fish, a "Pirate ............'s Room" colouring sheet (free printable online) and a sheet of pirate stickers, and many thankyous were said by all. It was a fantastic party to say that a good amount of the children were only just 3 or under and I was really impressed.

So now on to the next happening which is Cub Camp, Adam took all his bed kit tonight and made his bed roll, luckily I had remembered to sew his Diamond Jubilee badge onto his camp blanket so I am in the good books. The rest of his kit needs packing up tomorrow, fingers crossed James is picking up his new walking boots from the sorting office tomorrow and we have everything he needs. He comes back at lunchtime on Monday and we are setting off at lunchtime on Tuesday so a quick laundry turn-around, possibly borrowing Nana's dryer, may be needed on Monday afternoon!! Although if he is the same as he was on Big Camp last year he will come home with a bag full of clean clothes, wearing his thermals and the same set of clothes he went in because "you have to get up early for breakfast and it was too cold to keep getting changed". So, uhm, a bath/shower at Nana's may be needed Monday afternoon actually, if we have to be all sat in the same car for hours on Tuesday afternoon.......

Talking not-so-good odours, we have car sickness tablets and sea-bands for Jessica to try out, and I am just about to search google for trips on what to pack for kids with a tendency to throw up on car journeys. Wish us luck!! I am also creating some travel activity bags for the kids, using and adapting some fab activity ideas I have found on pinterest. I got 2 velcro pads with attached ball (put away for future use) for only £1.69 today and created a figure play set each, and with amazing timing my Aunty got Jessica some magnets with a two-sided magnetic play scene so we have taken all of her magnets off the fridge and created another activity set for her.

Adam will no doubt be enacting a mini World War II, whilst Jessica can continue her bizarre obsession with Cut the Rope figurines.

Forever Friends set, with added Peppa Pig, Dora and Barney magnets, the other side is a garden party scene.

I have bought some dry eraser 'crayons' by Crayola that need no caps, some lollipop sticks, and will be working on a few ideas I have up my sleeve over the next few days.

So we are food listing, packing listing and car journey listing tonight, with a good sprinkling of tidying and getting everything ready for the morning so I can hopefully repeat last Thursday's success in getting all three children out of the house and Adam at school on time. Then in the afternoon it is time for new Jessica car seat shopping, looking for something that is relatively simple to clean in the likely event of it being covered in sick, oh joy. We will be mostly shopping and packing over the next few days, ready for our exciting trip to Disneyland Paris yippee!!! Then when we get back, only 2 weeks until move date so the packing can begin in earnest, double yippee!!

I am feeling a lot more positive, although having many meltdowns in the midst of all this as this house is just far too crowded and small things become big things in that kind of situation for all of us, except Toby who remains happy and chilled regardless, bless his little soul. I am sure, somehow, he has been sent to restore peace to our little family unit. He is definitely here for a reason.

The Bright Side

I have been re-reading all of my old posts over the last few days whilst organising some labels. And I feel like my older posts were more positive and fun. I would love to get that back, in to my life in general as well as on here. So on that note I am going to get back to the original premise and as from the 1st May will be re-starting The Lists from my diary - in fact I have a diary and a calendar this year so it may mean double lists :-) I can't possibly start until May because there is only just over a week left of April and it is mahoosively busy. Put it this way - I could've been triple booked next Saturday night if I wasn't concentrating!!
See you all soon on The Bright Side xx.

Born to be Wild............

So my current 'project' (or most important of many) is to have a more positive relationship with my intensely brilliant and fireball of a daughter. I love her to pieces and she loves me intensely, but we seem to be constantly interlocked in battle. She has a very strong personality, which will stand her in good stead as she gets older I'm sure, but right now it means that every day consists of challenges for me to overcome even down to the daily events of dressing, breakfast, walking down the stairs.........
She needs a lot of input, a lot to keep her busy. Sometimes I run out of ideas and get so stressed trying to think of stuff to occupy her and keep her from bugging Adam (who also needs to learn more patience) and look after Toby at the same time. Adam is happy spending time with James but I don't want him to feel left out. Jessica wants pure undiluted constant MUMMY. Toby is amazingly chilled but only I can feed him and I don't want to not spend any time with him whilst he's so little and establishing bonds and relationships. Luckily Jessica loves him to pieces as does Adam xx.
So, I bought a new piece of battle armour the other day. 'The Preschooler's Busy Book'. I have the Toddlers version and love it but she has outgrown it. It came last week and looks great :-)
So far we have tried 'Cleaning Coins' and 'Paper Doll Chain', both with great success. I am hoping this will help us spend some quality time together, keep her busy when I need to be with Toby, and in general help us have a happier relationship. Fingers crossed xx.

I am pinning a lot on us moving, giving both older children a bit of their own space, and instilling some new rules and routines including new night lights, alarm clocks, less toys in bedrooms and BATH TIME!! Today we went to the park with friends and had a fab time, but the walk/scooter home was a bit much for Jessica and by the time we got home she was so tired that life itself became a battle. Being able to come home from that kind of sticky, hot, dusty day and plonk her into a bath is something I am massively looking forward to. I am sure we will still have many tantrums but hopefully some can be avoided. I am off now to organise my "Crazy Can", "Messy Can" and "Mummy Time Can" activities from the Busy Book and Pinterest and trying to feel a bit less stumped when something, ANYTHING, is needed to be introduced to prevent chaos ruling.